i'm in love again?

i know i'm hopeless when it comes to loving someone. i seriously dedicate myself to him. it's not easy to fall in love again after years of relationship. it's not easy to build the trust with each other. deep inside me, i've been always thinking on the negative side.. where did i go wrong? and i realized part of it came from me.. i was too busy controling his life without realizing he was trying his best to fulfill it. f*ck!! blaming myself for screwing this relationship. an advice from a friend.. every relationship has its ups and downs.. and i believe her~ all i wanted is a smooth relationship. well, who doesn't? but i believe in giving a second chance.. it's worth to know when the person is willing to change for you.. whether he appreciates it or not, will be the aftermath.

reflecting on our relationship.. how can i judge him for months.. when i already know him for years? i know people do change. but within the years of separations with him, he was always being him. it was me who changed a lot and that is a serious case when we're trying to change the person we love and care. because the reason for me to love him is because for him to be himself, and not someone else! make myself believe that i have faith in him.

shit. now a days im being too emotional and super sensitive. and that is me for the past 2-3 years. i've been acting over-protective towards myself, my darling and my relationship and i've been trying my best to keep it safe.

i just dont get it why some people enjoy ruining other people's relationship? and i really dont get it why do some people can't get enough from what they have when they already have what they want? isn't that a bless and something weh shud be thankfull?

anything, i just hope for the best for my (our) future.. AMEN~