The Loss of Our King Pop

i was shocked to know when my friend Hidayah, who coincidencely tried to use her celcom broadband at school when she told us the sad news "Michael Jackson is DEAD".. we thought she was fooling us as she was saying it confidently and we thought that her broadband was not functioning at all.

eventhough im not his biggest fan, but still i feel sad for his demice. for me, he's a legend. a true superstar and a gifted person. his contributions in music industry has influenced many people. once a superstar.. always a superstar.

How to Control Jealousy

Deal with your insecurity. No matter how much you project your confidence, being jealous implies that you are insecure about yourself. It means that you have fears that someone is better than you are, and it scares the hell out of you. What you need to do is to realize that every person is unique. Don’t go comparing yourself to everybody because that’s not a good way to feel good about yourself. Just focus on your own assets, and your achievements and you’re sure to get ahead of things. Be secure in the fact that you’re the hottest being on earth – proof? Your partner chose you among all the others.

Value the virtue of trust. Trusting a person could be very difficult, especially if we’ve been betrayed in the past. But get over your issues on trust because unless you do, your partner will suffer your lack of security. Let go of your fears because you can’t do anything if you worry about it anyway. It’ll just keep you paranoid. Loving someone means giving him your trust, so that he can give you his trust too.

Love and trust go hand in hand. Don’t push your boyfriend away with your jealousy. If you know in your heart that your boyfriend is truly faithful, then it is just right that you trust him not to break your heart. The two of you can always talk when something starts to bother you so that it doesn’t evolve into a jealous fit.

** im speaking on behalf of myself. and it has nothing to do with other people =) its just a friendly reminder for me..

100th Truth

A friend of mine tagged me on her note. I was thinking why not i answer these questions. It's all about fun anyway.. and who knows, it might be something we can reflect on ourself :)

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage:
= nescafe

2. Last phone call:
= hubby

3. Last text message:
= ivy

4. Last song you listened to:
= vitamin c - graduation

5. Last time you cried:
= last sunday, teribble!

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice:
= more than twice and still dating!

7. Been cheated on:
= .... sumthing very hard to forget

8. Been in a relationship & regretted it:
= no. dats wat life is.

9. Lost someone special:
= relatives.

10. Been depressed:
= this past few days

11. Been drunk and threw up:
= yes.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:

12. chocolate
13. green
14. blue

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)

15. Made a new friend:
= yes.

16. Fallen out of love:
= not sure :P

17. Laughed until you cried:
= yeaaa~~

18. Met someone who changed you:
= they were my friends who were always there for me to support me.

19. Found out who your true friends were:
= definitely! i realized now for years there's always someone there for me and someone there to bring me down..

20. Found out someone was talking about you:
= i dont give a fuck abt them.

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list:
= yes? :D

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life:
= 90%.. some are my cousins whom i never met :P

23. How many kids do you want to have:
= 4 perhaps.. hehehe~

24. Do you have any pets:
= my cats and dogs

25. Do you want to change your name:
= no. why shud i?

26. What did you do for your last birthday:
= celebrate with my family members.

27. What time did you wake up today:
= 6AM

28. What were you doing at midnight last night:
= sleeping

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for:
= 23/08/09 & 29/12/09

30. Last time you saw your Mother:
= she's sitting next to me playing solitaire

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life:
= trust, happines, love and peace

32. What are you listening to right now:
= .... from the tv. duno wat movie.

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:
= think so. my cousin Tom hehe.

34. What's getting on your nerves right now:
= someones call :)

35. Most visited webpage:
= facebook, yahoo mail, blogspot.

36. Whats your real name:
= yvonne janet muin

37. Nicknames:
= colly, bon, evon, bonbon, kundi.

38. Relationship Status:
= attached!

39. Zodiac sign:
= aquarius

40. Male or female?
= female

41. Elementary:
= hometown

42. Middle School?:
= hometown

43. High school/college?
= sm stella maris

44. Hair colour:
= black

45. Long or short:
= middle

46. Height:
= i think i'm 5'5.

47. Do you have a crush on someone?
= no.. at the moment :P

48. What do you like about yourself?
= hard to mention

49. Piercings:
= ear & tounge

50. Tattoos:
= none

51. Righty or lefty:
= right

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery:
= nope

53. First piercing:
= 15 years old

54. First best friend
=maymay n fiona

55. First sport you joined:
= 4x100 during secondary school

56. First vacation
= dady went to continue his studies far2 away.. do u call dat a vacation? hehe

58. First pair of trainers:
= school days

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating:
= noe

60. Drinking:
= no

61. I'm about to:
= play poker after answering this questions

62. Listening to:
= tv

63. Waiting for:
= hubby's call

YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids?
= definitely yes

65. Get Married?
= definitely!

66. Career?
= just starting..

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes:
eyes

68. Hugs or kisses:
= hugs

69. Shorter or taller:
= taller

70. Older or Younger:
= older bf.. younger looking me :P

71. Romantic or spontaneous:
= can i choose both?

72. Nice stomach or nice arms:
= and both as well hehehehe

73. Sensitive or loud:
= sensitive

74. Hook-up or relationship:
= relationship of course

75. Trouble maker or hesitant:
= hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger:
= no

77. Drank hard liquor:
= yes

78. Lost glasses/contacts:
= my eyesights are still good

79. Sex on first date:
= big no no!

80. Broken someone's heart:
= yes.. and the person deserved it!

82. Been arrested:
= hell no

83. Turned someone down:
= yes

84. Cried when someone died:
= of course, im kinda sentimental and sesitive

85. Fallen for a friend?:
= yes. and he's now my darling

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself:
= think so

87. Miracles:
= hell yes!

88. Love at first sight:
= yes yes yes!

89. Heaven:
= yes

90. Santa Claus:
= yes.. till now..

91. Kiss on the first date:
= nooo..

92. Angels:
= yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time:
= yes

95. Did you sing today?
= yes

96. Ever cheated on somebody?:
= previously yes. now NO.

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?:
= go back when it shud be told earlier.

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?:
= christmas

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?:
= last time yes.. now im afraid to let it go

100. Posting this as 100 truth?
= yes. being honest!

stressed out

too much work to be done. im trying to complete everything all at once. today, my first time attending the class im going to teach. and on the 1st day itself they managed to annoy me. dang! what a day~ now im figuring out how to catch their attention. blame me for being unpatient. yes i am. if only today was few years ago, then im allowed to smack them, make them stand outside, make them stand on their chair and table, and whatever i can do to punish. but this is the 20th century and kids are so damn smart.. IF ONLY~ sigh!

my life, my journey

i was having a rough time this past few days. as times goes by, im beginning to enjoy myself in the sense of trying to be a better person. im always trying and will keep on trying. i realized, i always looked down on myself, and let all the negative vibes gets into me. till then, its already history. its now my past and letting it go makes me feel relief. im happy to know that my girlfriends are really supporting me. making me realize that we shouldnt live in denial, full of ignorance.. but to be real. be who we are, not someone who is trying to be like someone else.. not someone who's trying hard to live like someone else. but just being me.

its a bless to give and take chances from and to someone. when deep down inside we know that mistakes came from us. i admit, im being fool for not realizing the biggest mistake that happened. and i admit im being someone elses' black sheep. but we can find out then. when we know that we can be someone better, by working our ass hard enough to be in the comfort zone. its all worth it. and it'll pay the price of all our hardworks we've done.

im so thankful for experiencing all this wonderful experience. its hard to accept but we learn to let it go slowly. and this makes me more confident enough to go further.. without turning back. and i'll always look forward to the future. with hopes and dreams. and to be better then anyone who thinks they can bring me down. i was once 'nobody'.. and now.. will always be 'somebody'.. by getting a real life, live in reality and we'll know the answer.

when time can heal the pain

last nite was a total disaster. i've been acting like crazy~ i almost lost my mind and crying out like hell. i over-reacted too much. i made a fool of myself. i deserve it now. but WE dont deserve it for what had happened. i shudnt act that way. i shud have listen to myself before saying and doing it. now, i deserved it for what i have done. 

if only i could let it go, if only i can let time heal the pain and learn to accept things. the wounds wont heal easily, because the scars will always be there. but scars can be fade away if we keep on healing it~

im still hoping. because everyone of course wants to live hapilly ever after. im hoping that time will tell me the truth. time will decide what will happen. all i can do now is wait for the miracle to happen. whether i like it or not, we'll know when the time is ready to tell~~

life

i dont really blog. cos i know im not very good at blogging. there are times when i talk to myself. there are times when we talk to ourselves =)

people do make mistakes. and every mistakes are made to be forgiven. i do mistakes, and i believe everyone does it too. i dont blame people who are imperfect, because im one of them! we never expect bad things to happen, if possible, we'll try to avoid it. we all faced the ups and downs in our life, and i salute those who survived from it. i know it's not easy.. especially when we expect things to be just fine. we never know what will happen next. the easiest way is to enjoy life as it is. i've been taking things too seriously for this past few years, and now its time for me to let it go. i never want to look back what happen previously, because it do hurts my feelings.. let's just proceed and move forward. but im very thankful cos during my sad moments, my girlfriends are willing to be there to be my shoulder to cry on. and most important thing is, to give me strength and be positive always. im trying to change, to be a better person. to always look positive what lies ahead. thats why i love them for who they are, doesnt matter whether they're right or wrong. cos nobody's perfect. im no perfect, and im no angel either. we're just equal..

life as it is, some people relates to karma. and yess, the chinese and hindus do believe in it. i believe it too.. what goes around comes around. and i've seen lot of things happen that way. and it does happen to everyone, i believe =) including me. when we tried to be nice to someone, they took you for granted. and also when someone tried to be nice to us.. we took them for granted. isn't that funny? the world is turning upside-down. and some people do live in denial. not just 'some'. i do sometimes feel that way. why shud we ignore it when the world knows it better? it's up from us to decide..

when boredorm strikes

quite a boring day. i'm stucked at home doing house chores and now in front of my laptop checking on my fb. feel like calling hubby today but he was at a friends shop hanging out with his friends. im trying to control my craziness of calling every second. i dont know why shud i react that way. i just feel so insecure.. but holding on to his promises makes me believe he's keeping his promise.

okay, enuf of being in a sad mood. i 've been told that my puppy 'lomu' has a big hole at his back. we're not sure he's hit by someone or his naughty attitude makes him suffer that way. he's always a cheerful pup and very 'garang'. to our suprise, my mum and brother who's about to go off to work this morning saw that 'big hole' and feel disgusted. so me and branden (our youngest sibling) have to put him on medication.. mcm duktur haiwan la~ that big hole we stuffed in the powder used to heal the wound for animal, dady got it from the vet, incase this incident happen.. and we always knew it will happen. . i saw 'huge' worms in his wound.. and of course la i feel disgusted. i think the wounds' been there for a long time and we just didn't noticed about it and it grew bigger and bigger. pitty lomu.. sigh~ he have to suffer that kind of pain. no wonder he's not in the mood playing and not that 'greedy' like he used to when seeing foods.

here's the pic of it. do not see this pic before u have ur bfast/lunch/dinner/snacks..

i'm in love again?

i know i'm hopeless when it comes to loving someone. i seriously dedicate myself to him. it's not easy to fall in love again after years of relationship. it's not easy to build the trust with each other. deep inside me, i've been always thinking on the negative side.. where did i go wrong? and i realized part of it came from me.. i was too busy controling his life without realizing he was trying his best to fulfill it. f*ck!! blaming myself for screwing this relationship. an advice from a friend.. every relationship has its ups and downs.. and i believe her~ all i wanted is a smooth relationship. well, who doesn't? but i believe in giving a second chance.. it's worth to know when the person is willing to change for you.. whether he appreciates it or not, will be the aftermath.

reflecting on our relationship.. how can i judge him for months.. when i already know him for years? i know people do change. but within the years of separations with him, he was always being him. it was me who changed a lot and that is a serious case when we're trying to change the person we love and care. because the reason for me to love him is because for him to be himself, and not someone else! make myself believe that i have faith in him.

shit. now a days im being too emotional and super sensitive. and that is me for the past 2-3 years. i've been acting over-protective towards myself, my darling and my relationship and i've been trying my best to keep it safe.

i just dont get it why some people enjoy ruining other people's relationship? and i really dont get it why do some people can't get enough from what they have when they already have what they want? isn't that a bless and something weh shud be thankfull?

anything, i just hope for the best for my (our) future.. AMEN~

trust vs betrayal

i'm pretty much f*cked up rite now. why? cos the person u cared the most had betrayed u. how can u trust a person when the person itself broke the spell? the only thing needed is trust and that trust has been broken in just a few months of 'leaving'. knowing the word trust for 8 years is not worth it.. and it really breaks my heart knowing that serious betrayal. shud that person deserve a second chance? i'm not sure yet.. cos now my heart is too cold to decide~~