I feel so alive..

after all the pain i've been thru. i finally found the path where i can really appreciate life as it is. for the past few years i was living under the shadow. wanting everything to be perfect when infact im not happy. i tried to be happy once. and i was also once being happy. but guess everything didn't work as it is.

as i was lying down on my bed, with my mp3 playing its songs.. i suddenly caught a song that really interests me and makes me wonder of the lyrics. after listening to it over and over again, i felt that life is too short to mourn for the mistakes that happened. well, past is past. im happy for what i am now. and im really happy for what i've been thru. lets just say, like the sheryl crow song title "u're my favourite mistake" =)

P.O D - ALIVE

Everyday is a new day
I'm thankful for
Every breath I take
I won't take you for granted (I won't take you for granted)
So I learn from my mistakes
It's beyond my control
Sometimes it's best to let go
Whatever happens
In this lifetime
So I trust in love (so I trust in love)
You have given me
Peace of mind

Chorus:
I feel so alive
For the very first time
I can't deny you
I feel so alive
I feel so alive
For the very first time
And I think I can fly (fly)

Sunshine upon my face (sunshine upon my face)
A new song for me to sing
Tell the world
How I feel inside (Tell the world how I feel inside)
Even though it might
Cost me everything
Now that I know this
So beyond, I can't hold this
I can never
Turn my back away
Now that I've seen you (Now that I've seen you)
I can neva look away

Repeat chorus

Now that I know you
(I could never)
Turn my back away)
Now that I see you
(I could neva look away)
Now that I know you
(I could neva)
Turn my back away)
Now that I see you
(I believe no matta
What they say!)

the cries of the innocent

its really suffering to hold on something that you're used to do. my heart's pounding faster like having an adrenelin rush. it does seriously hurting me inside out. its eating me inside slowly. i keep on waiting for the miracle to happen.. waiting patiently~ but guess that im not a patient type. i always want everything instantly. i know im not powerfull enough to do that. but i cant wait.. it is really killing me. 

im very thankful that my very best friends are always there to support me. to make me realize that sometimes we have to wait for the best to come. who knows, after this disaster, there will be a reward for it.. im learning to face the toughest situation. im learning to love myself. im learnig to let it go. im learning to understand. im learning to wait, even though waiting for something unconfirmed. im learning to forgive and forget. but guess im not strong enough. im not strong to face the reality. reality does bites. truth hurts. it does.. seriously~

for now, im trying to stand on my own. before, i was a baby who always needs attention. but now im not anyones baby anymore. im learning to be independent.. learning to love myself like my friends used to say. im very hopeless when it comes to emotions. im the sensitive type. i can cry when im happy, i can cry when im sad. i cry when i see something that touches my heart. i cry when the person i love is in trouble. i cry when im too happy. for now, this is the my toughest journey.. i used to be on the safe lane, but not anymore. its time for me to change gear and move forward. but i need time.. i need time to heal everything. i need miracle to heal me. i need love and attention to cure my wounds. i need love.