My December Part 2

preparations were done earlier on. but one thing that we didn't manage to do is planning. maybe we were too excited over it. i can't wait. he can't wait too.

another 13 days to go. after that, our life will change. commitments and responsibilities will slowly come. we need each other to become stronger. i need more faith in him. i need more trust in him. sooner or later i'll belong to him.

i still remembered he once told me.. "it doesn't mean after years of relationship with the person we love will bring happiness. sometimes few months of knowing each other is worth it to live together. as long as love and trust is there".. i'm giving in hope in him. hoping he can change my life to become better.

seriously, can't wait for the changes. can't wait to be officially belong to someone.

baby, i heart you. infinity... =)

s.i.g.h ~~

do i have to please everyone when everything i do trying to please them as much as i wanted to be treated the same way was not appreciated?

*confused* pfffft!!

why cant they just understand? it's just easy as putting themselves in my shoe. just think of the situation and sure they'll understand.

... but i guess they're not trying.. cos they're too naive to understand about it.

sigh~

why in the world must be so complicated about life? dear God, i'm not complaining.. i'm just hoping You are listening to my problems..

my december part 1

many things happened this year, the happines, the sadness and all sort types of emotions i've been through. time past by so fast and it's already december, end of the year.. i still remember the month of january '09, i was still looking for an answer to something uncertain.. everything related about my life. working my ass hard enough, struggling to keep everything safe with me. hoping happines will finaly come after years of silence from my other world. maybe God wanted to show what real life is to me, testing my patience and faith in Him. i admit, i wasn't strong enough to face the reality. i need a good pillar to support me. how i wish i can be like those strong and tough women out there. i'm emotionaly touched to whatever that happens to me. the good, the bad, everything can melt me. i'm fragile, very fragile indeed. but thank God that He finally showed me that every problems can be solved slowly. and i believe He's watching me when i break down and cry, complaining about life, about why did it happened to me? He listens to every prayers i made eventhough i'm not a religious person. i still believe that God really exists.

.... december. something important will happen on this month that will decide my future. one step closer to another new phase of life. am i for real? am i seriously ready for it? i keep on asking myself. what if i cannot adapt myself to this 'new life'? will he guide and help me to be stronger? will he accept me for who i am? most important things is, will he still love me after 20, 50 years time? will the love be still the same when we're 90 years old? is the passion still there? will he love me when i gained weight? ... everything that crosses my mind. some says that in this 'new life', we're pretty much tied up. i don't know about that, cos i was used to it already. being loyal to the person who i once loved so much, and finaly, my sacrifices and loyalty was NOT appreciated. he doesn't deserve my loyalty and faithfulness. i hope this time, everything i sacrifice for him will be appreciated. and all i ask for him is love. i need more love to make my love stronger each day.

house cleaning starts now. busy preparing for my big day. dady and i was the most busiest person. went shopping with baby last week... funny, planning wasn't done properly and we were a bit lost. luckily we managed to sort things out. both of us were excited. very excited =)

cant wait for the day to come. im seriously nervous + happy at the same time.

to be continued...

its O.V.E.R~

i finally found a time where i can blog. i was busy, with full schedule on the list. and now i'm totally FREE!! KISSM induction and exam. finally, its OVER~

erm.. i dont have any ideas right now. i'm still busy preparing for my BIG event. will let u guys know soon.

our last gathering together at permata club, keningau.. 3 person missing.. zura, aleng and ozlyn. but its ok, will definitely meet them again.. treasured all the memories together. ups and downs together. as a team. we still managed to be 'one'. luv u guys!

will blog again when i have nothing to do =)

adios... chiao~