The 'I Do' Thingy~~

I'm now in KK, couldn't sleep cos i don't feel sleepy at all.. or was it the coffee i drank too much this morning??

Arrived from KB this evening, attended my cousin's wedding. Sigh~ can't wait for my turn to happen. I'm happy for her. Seeing the smile on her face after the blessing ceremony at the church, makes me wonder how does it feel after officially being pronounced as husband and wife?

It must be one of those 'happiest' moments in our lives =)

Can't wait for that moment to come~

Holiday mode = Activated!!

Just came back from school. I'm back early today cos Siti have to rush back home to do some preparations before she goes back to Selangor for our 3 weeks holiday.

Something funny happened today @ this morning. I woke up late at 0645 hours and realized that I'm waayyy too late to get ready. So, I called Siti to wait for me for 20 minutes. Amazingly, I managed to get ready in that time. Shower + makeups.. normally, it took me almost an hour to prepare.

Today, last paper for exam paper. The children were very excited to finish up their paper and to celebrate the 3 weeks holiday. Before i leave my students at year 5, gave them few advice for this holiday seasons. Take care, study, read books.. bla bla bla (just like my teacher told me when I was in primary school) hehe~~

Now, I'm back at home. Waiting for huby to pick me up. Most probably he's working right now cos he's not replying my messages, or most probably he's still sleeping (!@#). Anyhow, my holiday mode is already activated. I don't want to think of anything else except to relax my mind. Maybe I won't be blogging during this holiday. See lah~ Depends when I'm in a good mood then I'll do some updates.

Till then, happy holidays to all of you. Don't drink and drive.

What tree did you fall from?

Find your birthday, find your tree and then scroll down.. This is really cool and somewhat accurate, also in line with Celtic astrology.

APPLE TREE (Love)
Jun 25 to Jul 04
Dec 23 to Dec 31

Of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.

ASH TREE (Ambition)
May 25 to Jun 03
Nov 22 to Dec 01

Uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be egotistic, very reliable and trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over the heart, but takes partnership very seriously.

BEECH TREE (Creative)
Dec 22

Has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)

BIRCH TREE (Inspiration)
Jun 24

Vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly,pretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

CEDAR TREE (Confidence)
Feb 09 to Feb 18
Aug 14 to Aug 23

Of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others,self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress others, many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

CHESTNUT TREE (Honesty)
May 15 to May 24
Nov 12 to Nov 21

Of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.

CYPRESS TREE (Faithfulness)
Jan 25 to Feb 03
Jul 26 to Aug 04

Strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, content, optimistic, craves money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic, and careless.

ELM TREE (Noble-Minded)
Jan 12 to Jan 24
Jul 15 to Jul 25

Pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, loudest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

FIG TREE (Sensibility)
Jun 14 to Jun 23
Dec 12 to Dec 21

Very strong, a bit self-willed,independent, does not allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, its family, children and animals, a bit of a social butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness, of practical talent and intelligence.

FIR TREE (Mysterious)
Jan 01 to Jan 11
Jul 05 to Jul 14

Extraordinary taste, dignity, sophisticated, loves anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very ambitious, talented, industrious, uncontested lover, many friends, many foes, very reliable.

HAZELNUT TREE (Extraordinary)
Mar 22 to Mar 31
Sep 24 to Oct 03

Charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for social cause, popular, moody, and capricious lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.

HORNBEAM TREE (Good Taste)
Jun 04 to Jun 13
Dec 02 to Dec 11

Of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

LIME TREE (Doubt)
Mar 11 to Mar 20
Sep 13 to Sep 22

Accepts what life dishes out in a composed way, hates fighting, stress, and labor, dislikes laziness and idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous but loyal.

MAPLE TREE (Independent)
Apr 11 to Apr 20
Oct 14 to Oct 23

No ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

OAK TREE (Brave)
Mar 21

Robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

OLIVE TREE (Wisdom)
Sep 23

Loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

PINE TREE (Particular)
Feb 19 to Feb 28
Aug 24 to Sep 02

Loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, everything disappointments until it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.

POPLAR TREE (Uncertainty)
Feb 04 to Feb 08
May 01 to May 14
Aug 05 to Aug 13

Looks very decorative, not very self-confident, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

ROWAN TREE (Sensitivity)
Apr 01 to Apr 10
Oct 04 to Oct 13

Full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

WALNUT TREE (Passion)
Apr 21 to Apr 30
Oct 24 to Nov 11

Unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

WEEPING WILLOW (Melancholy)
Mar 01 to Mar 10
Sep 03 to Sep 12

Beautiful but full of melancholy, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.

Is it either 'her way' or 'no way'?

My sis forwarded this beautiful email to me. It made me think about it:

WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?
Cos i myself can't really decide what I want..

So, I decided to share this story to everyone (some of you may already have heard this story before)..

This is quite interesting. ....
(To women) Please take time to ponder.....
(To men) Just enjoy the story.......

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom..

The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden.

But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.

Arthur's question thus: 'What a woman really wants?'
She said, 'A woman wants to be in charge of her own life.'

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.

The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half.

'Which would you prefer?' She asked him. 'Beautiful during the day .... or at night?'
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
Or,
Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?
But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?

(If you are a man reading this) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
And Lancelot's choice is given below...

BUT... please make YOUR choice first before you scroll down below... OKAY?

W
H
A
T

W
O
U
L
D

U
R

C
H
O
I
C
E

B
E
??

Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time.. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now... what is the moral to this story?

Korea.. Here I come~~

I posted at my facebook that I'll be leaving to Korea this coming holiday. Happy to know that they care enough to know my updates hehe.. I actually didn't mean to fool them, I just want to make my shoutout more interesting and to make their curiosity become more stronger. But I do plan one day to visit there..

It's all the influence from watching the Korean Dramas. A friend of mine had a collection of it. She's a Korean Drama freak, and I can say she's addicted to it. She bought few collections of it that's worth more than RM100. Whatever series you want to watch, you name it, she has it :D

The only Korean Drama that I'm addicted to is 'Lovers In Paris'. Very interesting. But you can always predict what will happen next. Cause after watching few dramas, I can predict that:

1. the hero must be handsome, rich, cool and unpredictable
2. the heroin, pretty (a must), either poor and hardworking or rich and kind hearted and always bullies the hero
3. there's always a 3rd person in her life and she must chose one of them. but then of course she chose the hero :P
4. the hero and 3rd person must be either friends, siblings, related or his own rival from another company

Ok, enough of this prediction. I still do enjoy watching this kind of dramas. And if anyone of you who happen to read this blog, and knows where I can download the 'Lovers in Paris' drama for free.. please let me know :P

Huby and I plan to visit Korea one day, maybe during our honeymoon or with friends, doesn't matter.. Hope our wishes will come true. Amen.

So, to all of you who's interested to have a vacation there, here are some useful tips:

Greetings
Hello : an-nyeong-ha-se-yo
Good bye (I remain) : an-nyeong-hi ka-se-yo
Good bye (I leave.) : an-nyeong-hi kye-se-yo
Good-day (general) : an-nyeong-ha-se-yo
Good night : an-nyeong-hi ju-mu-se-yo
Nice to meet you : ban-gap seum-ni-da
Honorific or polite greeting : an-yong-ha-shim-nikka
Answering the phone greeting (like hello) : yobo-sayo
Goodbye to friends : ann-yonng (it feels good if your kids say this to you)

Responses
Yes : ye or ne
No : a-ni-yo
Good : jo-seum-ni-da
Bad : na-peum-ni-da
I don't like : sil-seum-ni-da

Basic Words and Sentences
Thank you : kam-sa-ham-ni-da
Thank you very much : tae-dan-hi kam-sa-ham-ni-da
You are welcome : cheon-ma-ne-yo
Please : je-bal
Please help me : jom do-wa-ju-se-yo
Give me please : ju-se-yo
Excuse me : je-song-ham-ni-da or shilae?ham-ni-da
I don't understand : jal mo-reu-get-sum-ni-da or mul-ay-oh (don?t know)
How do you say this in [English]? : i-geo-seul [yeong-eo]-ro meo-ra-go ham-ni-ka
Can you speak [English]? : [yeong-eo]-ro mal-hal-su it-seum-ni-ka
What is your name? : -reu-mi mu-eo-sim-ni-ka
Nice to meet you : ban-kap-seum-ni-da
How are you? : eo-teo-ke ji-nae-sim-ni-ka
Where is the bathroom (toilet)? : hwa-jang-sil-i eo-di i-sum-ni-ka
I'm sorry : mi-yan-ham-ni-da
Please be quiet : cho-yong-ee-hae (close mouths)
Don't touch it/me : man-jee-jee-marr (depending on if you are pointing to something else)
Don't do that : hudge-ii mar
this : ee-go
country : na-ra
big : kun
Wonderful : hul-ryung-han
Awesome : a-sa (not really necessary but you will notice your kids will say it a lot when you let them play games, we ended up saying this a lot too, just for fun)

Travel
Where is [Seoul station]? : [Seoul-yeok]-i eo-di-e i-seup-ni-ka
How much is the fare? : yo-geum-i eol-ma-im-ni-ka
ticket : pyo
One ticket to [Seoul] please : Seoul-ro ga-neun pyo han-jang ju-sip-si-yo
Where are you going? : eo-di-e ga-sim-ni-ka
Where do you live? : eo-di-e sa-sim-ni-ka
train : gi-cha
bus : bus
subway : ji-ha-cheol
airport : gong-hang
train station : ji-cha-yeok
bus station : bus jeong-geo-jang
subway station : jeon-cheol-yeok
hotel : hotel
room : bang
reservation : ye-yak
Are there any vacancies for [tonight]? : [o-neul-bam] bin-bang eop-seum-ni-ka
passport : yeo-kwon
Stop here : yog-ee-o (for halting a taxi etc.)

Shopping
How much does it cost? : eol-ma-im-ni-ka
What is this? : i-go-seun mu-eo-sim-na-ka
I'll buy it : i-go-seul sa-ge-seum-ni-da
Too expensive (The price is too high.) : neo-mu bi-ssa-yo
Could you lower the price? (Give me a discount, please.) : jom kka-kka-ju-se-yo
stamp : u-pyo
a little : jo-geum
a lot : ma-ni
all : mo-du

To learn more.. please click this link.. hope it will be something useful for you if you do plan to visit Korea one day.. Happy Learning :)

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. ~Chinese Proverb

!@#$%

life. pretty much f*cked up these days. people tend to take advantage on me when they feel they can. and me, on the other hand, keeping quiet waiting for the time to explode.

i'm not stupid for not speaking out, i'm just playing dumb just to see whether they really think i am. what'ya want from me??

why oh why another whining days.

i need a vacation. i need something to relax mind.

Coming soon holidays~

Monday blues~

School exam starts today till Thursday. I'm the 'teacher-in-charge' for this week..

To my suprise, overall attendance per 177 only 2 person were absent at year 1, very much unusual. Maybe because it's exam day. My student Dilfelikee who were absent since last month, was present today.

Friday is a public holiday.. It's Wesak Day..

Guess after this will not be blogging for quiet sometime. I'll be on holiday mood. A lot of things to do for my wedding preparation. I'll always find a time for more updates..

Wedding Bells Ringing?

Sigh~~ i'm pretty upset and confused right now. There were already few changes for our 'big day'.. and we still can't make up our mind when is the actual date. It is yet to be confirmed.

Huby and I had decided and agreed about the dates that we had planned after few changes. But then, again.. family issues, they think it's still not the right time. I mean, they do really want us to settle down this year, but not on the date that we had chose. There's still a lot of consideration to think about.. families, budgets and most of all, preparations. I made a final decision to make our 'big day' happen during school holidays this coming November. While huby, on the other hand still wants it to happen on the date that we had planned.. and the dates that i have proposed to him (for the 3rd time) is still under consideration and he still needs to think about it.

Aduiii... it's not easy to get married. Very easy to plan, but do it is very much difficult. Susah ba pula mau kawin ni.. But whatever obstacles that we're facing right now, we believe, it's one of the test that we need to go through together. A test that really wants to test both of our patience and understanding. Thank God that so far we still can manage to handle the hard situations.

Whatever it is, I just hope that everything will be fine in the end..

I’m Proud Too!

I read the Daily Express today and there was an article that really attracts me with its own statement.

“I am proud to be a Dusun: Kisil”

And the article goes like this:

“I AM a Dusun. I am proud to call myself a Dusun and I want others to be proud that they are Dusuns” Kissil asserted. (For your information, Mdm. Tina Kissil was a former Daily Express guest columnist – turned author)
Many people think I should call myself a Kadazan. Why? They say that being a Dusun is low-class and uncultured. I have no quarrel with the Kadazans but I just don’t agree with this view. “Why must people say that Dusuns are uncultured or lower in status than the Kadazans?”
“In the newspaper, we read that a prominent local politician did not want the Dusun! He wanted us to be known as Kadazans instead. “The ‘original’ Kadazans were the locals in the Penampang and Papar areas.
“We were proud to be called Dusuns although some people said we were backward and uncultured. The people in my kampong could not understand why, all of a sudden, the Dusuns were to be grouped together with the Kadazans,” she wrote.

I’m not racism. And I too don’t have any issues with the Kadazans. I’m just agreeing with the article above. What’s wrong being a Dusun? Why some people aren’t proud to be one? I don’t understand why some people don’t want to be called a Dusun. We Dusun people are not backwards and uncultured anymore. Nowadays, we can see a lot of Dusun people with good achievements and works in a professional line.

That is why people who thinks Dusun is still uncultured, low-status and backwards need to change their mind set. Common, we’re in the modern era. How could you people still think like the ‘donkey years?’ I’m not saying these to the Kadazans, but to anyone doesn’t matter what race they are, even to the Dusuns who are ashamed of their roots.. think back, you’ll thank your ancestors sooner or later for being a Dusun! Be proud of who you are~

Pre-Wedding Course Part 2

it's been a while after the pre-wedding course session ended. one thing for sure, huby and i really regret for not coming early on the 2nd day, cos that's when the photo shoot started. too bad, we were the only couple who's not in the picture.. boohoo~~

during the 2 days course, i can say i learned a lot from it. and it makes me realize the mistakes i've done. a lot. quite a lot. we look at each other and smiled. all this while we keep on repeating the same mistake over and over again without realizing that if this became a habit, it can cause one marriage to stumble and fall.. shhh~~ palis 2x jauh 2x.. i don't want it to happen to us.

i know i'm a very detail person. and because of it, sometimes i do ask questions a lot. when i'm not satisfied, i'll keep on repeating it over and over again till the extend where hubby gets exhausted and finally say vice versa. when its something i don' want to hear then i'll get mad, but he say the truth, i still couldn't believe him. there~~ how can we satisfy a women?

hubby said i'm too 'creative' for being able to think such possibilities. for me, i assume it as a 'backup', but for him it's not right. i don't know, sometimes i just want to hear something nice to make me happy, and the victim.. my own hubby. during the course, it did mentioned that communication is very important. i totally agree with it. our communications could be very relaxing at one time. and when my mood changes, it became a sour.. i need to improve myself. i do get angry or upset easily even at small things. but the course really made me realize that we should respect each other. financial and emotions too need to be balanced at once.

i'm glad that we finally had reached to this stage. and i hope that during our 'engagement', nothing bad will happen between us. can' wait for our Big Day to come, i'm really looking forward to it. i want to have my own family. i don't care about others and i don't care what others want to say. i'm almost reaching the age of 30's, and i want to complete my life by having someone to care and support me and most important thing is to have my own child. i'm aiming this by the time i reach 30. dear God, please listen to my prayers..

i completely tried to avoid from making myself angry. i know hubby was being very patient. i really appreciate that but i don't know how to express my grateful to him. how i wish i can make him smile like he do to me everyday. to feel his fingers running through my hair while singing my favourite songs. when he tried his best to make me feel comfortable, that is when i feel guilty the most because i can't do like he do to me.. all i can give is my pure heart and loyalty..

here's the 10 rules for happy marriage. i hope this will be a guideline to all who wishes to get marry soon.. like me :P~

1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.
4. If you must criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once every day say a kind or complimentary word to your life partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
10. Remember it takes two to make a quarrel.

The Ten Rules for a Happy Marriage from a couple who reached their 50th anniversary and successfully made their marriage a promise for life.

May God bless our relationship always and forever. Amen~

Pre-Wedding Course Part 1

attended the english course at ipgm keningau campus. our pre-wedding course starts at 4pm. huby is getting ready to work at smk tenom. while waiting for his friend from kk, he went to fix his car alarm. im feeling sleepy right now. the lecture was conducted by our 'JU' as the lecturer was out. dang! sleepy + tired + bored.. how can i entertain myslelf? one of my group member offered me some interesting movies. walaa~ macam durian runtuh dapat free movie hehe.. busy transferring movies from her external to my laptop.. my coursemates made a suprise for all of us, they bought 2 cakes for teachers day.. everyone seems excited. mimang untung ba pigi kursus, makan saja karaja~ hehe..

daddy picked me up around 12 noon, his 1st time driving my baby molly that far. hmm~ not that bad. reached home around 1330, waited for huby to finish his work and going for the pre-wedding course registration. had a quick nap for a while..

1525 hours

get ready to church. huby is on his way back now. waited for him at the church, dady sent me there. when huby arrived, went to register. we thought we were the late ones but we found out we were quite early.. huh~ if only we knew it actually starts at 1800 hours.. went back home to get the bible.. then went out back for dinner.. at 1750 we arrived and the course begins..

it started with a (what i call) quick-mass, then proceed to the bible reading before the 'talk' continues. we happen to sit right behind, so we were the 'lucky ones' selected to bring the candles and the pots of flowers. another couple held the candle while huby and i held the pots. my hands were shaking (not nervous but from the mr.d effect)..

the idea of going for a pre-wedding course is actually good. we get to know our partner more.. i mean, how to handle a relationship and to be completely ready for marriage life. i admit, having a relationship is not easy. its very hard for me to maintain the feelings. i love my partner. and my love for him never fades even when he makes me angry or disappoints me. i know everyone has their own weakness. i myself acting very selfish this past few weeks had caused our very own relationship into troubles. each time i look at him, he seems tired trying to take good care of me, but at the same time trying his best to fulfill whatever i want. how i wish i can make him happy all the time, not making him worried day by day by this 'act of fury'. the lesson we learned today was very useful. how to control my jealous, and the limit to be jealous as a fiance, a wife and a mother to our kids in future. my love grew stronger.

i remembered when i first met him, after 10 years not seeing each other. previously we did spoke on the phone, comforting me and consoling while trying to heal the pain i was in before. i was hurt and feeling sickly almost gone mad, he was there to comfort me. sounds cliche? it might be.. past is past, im looking for whats the best for both of us. the bible says that it was faith that brought us together, and both of us agree with it. we believe that we were meant to be together. i hope so. and i do believe God is always there to bless our relationship. AMEN.

Womens Best friend vs Enemy

d*r*m*n*

can't describe the words in detail. women's best friend and sometimes the worse enemy. addicted but sometimes avoided.

in my case, emotionally abused. uncontrollable emotion and became super sensitive. micro. even the smallest mistake can become the biggest issue ever.

trying to satisfy both party, but both of it suffered from the consequences. and the result, unbalanced. almost achieving the expected but ruining bit by bit the most protected.

creativity + talkative + hyperactive in the negative way.

turned out to be the most fierce person. try me, you'll die hearing me talking non stop when angry.

ahh~~ what else could be done to satisfy both needs??

im too fragile to be handled. once broken, considered broken forever, hard to be fixed. don't try to break it up again, cos i can't guarantee you that it can be attached back again.

it would never be the same.

im sorry to the person i love most. suffering from the side effects. suffering from the mistakes created. and yet still patient enough to handle the fragile one. no matter how hard it is, please try your best baby. i always appreciate you no matter what happen. thank you for everything. sincere deep down from the bottom of my broken heart. and that broken one is for you to make sure it wont be broken again..

When The 'volcano' Explodes

12th May 2010

My Myvi EZi Solid white will be out in few hours.. My first car purchased by me, with huby's help. Not to say excited, i don't know how should i feel and react that day.

The process of purchasing this car was very difficult and complicated. I feel relieved after getting it. There are some minor issues but i'm already too tired to handle it anymore. I'll tell the whole story in detail.. and i hope this will be a lesson for me and others too. I'm giving my baby car a name. And it's officialy named 'molly' after thinking very hard(?!)

the story goes like this.. this salesperson whom i dealing with was my cousin's wife. so, to give face and respect to him, i bought it from her. and so the 'hell' process begins. she keeps on bugging my brother to ask me to pay for the booking fee a.s.a.p, and demand for the early deposit as well. my bro paid for the booking fee only, and gave back the balance to me. after signing the agreement then only i'll pay full.

i took a last minute day off for me to sign the agreement, after she informed my brother on monday night (only after my brother called!).. on that day itself, we waited for her call and she last minute inform me that the agreement haven't reach the cimb branch in keningau. a bit angry, i still can manage my temper. so since i haven't sign anything, i asked her to change the car since the one she gave me was not the one i asked for (miscommunication since she never do any follow ups with me!).. then she agreed. then the following week, she called me and asked me to come the next day to sign the agreement, but i gave excuses that im busy with school activities. at first she keep on pushing me to sign it by friday (the last day of month april) but i refused, so we made a deal on monday.

so, on monday after school hours, huby came to fetch me and we went to the bank together. the person-in-charge told me that the documents just arrived on that morning. i was like (WTF?!!) why the hell did she keep on asking me to come that friday when the documents haven't arrived yet? but we still manage to cool down..

then, this is what happened. when chasing for the money (balance of deposit), she keep on looking for my huby. we asked her to arrange the plat number that we want and she said everything is settled. okay, and so we (stoopidly) believed her. after waiting for few days, she didn't even give us a call or any updates (as usual), so my huby called her again and asked about the car. she then told him that the plat number that we want was taken. huby called his mum and dad and informed them about it. they straight away went to the JPJ to check about the number. to my suprise, she told us that we have to pay RM310 for it, when uncle asked the person he said only RM210. to make it worse, she dragged my brothers name along and said if that case she wont be able to pay my brother a commisssion. aunty said nevermind no need to pay and i'll talk to him. that F*CKING BIATCH!! she's trying to mess with the wrong person. she was scolded at the office. serves her right.

then on that day (12th may), huby messaged her again and asked when can we take the car, then she said today. okay. huby came to the perodua sales and took the car to fetch me from campus because i still need to go back there to sign the warranty. when i arrived, there is no explaination about the car, she only asked me to sign and go. but i keep on asking about the date of monthly payment. then she started to make faces. i became so angry that i burst out silently and told them that that bitch never do any follow ups with her customer but instead i have to look for her all the time. and to make things getting worse, she made another ugly face. comparing to a sick dog and a faggot, she's worse then both! she even told my brother that i'm an egoist. WTF!!

her attitude is seriously killing me. i hope this story will be something useful whenever you want to buy a car at perodua keningau branch. beware of a bitch named starting from 'N' with her initial 'NJK'. whatever happens to me or my molly, i believe that God is fair.

the moral of the story, family is family, business is business..


13th May 2010

my second day attending english course phase 2. daddy sent me early just now, afraid to be stucked at the jam since today is thursday and it's 'tamu' day.. went breakfast with daddy while waiting for the clock to strick 0730. then.. two of the salesperson came for breakfast same place with me. i totally ignored them as they never exist in my life. daddy said the girl keep on looking at me, since i was sitting facing behind them. but i don't blame both of them, because it's not their fault and they never do any wrong to me. it's just that when one person pissed me off, it's like making me sick looking at the 'whole family'. blame me for being unrational. yes i admit. blame that bitch for asking for that trouble.

enough of this story. because of this, it has caused me so much trouble. especially with my huby where we keep on fighting even at the small issue. and i put the blame everything on that bitch. if only i can lay my hands on her, i'll give her the most powerfull bitch slap until im totally satisfied. to be honest, my heart is still pounding very fast, my anger is still there. my hands are still shaking everytime i remember her cynical face expression when the time i get mad at the perodua office. let me express myself here. let me pour out my anger here. she really deserved to be scolded. and im very satisfied when aunty went to the office and gave her a good lesson. and i really wish she will get her 'pay' from God. im not asking bad things happen to her, i just want her to realize about her mistakes and regret for the rest of her life for treating such person like that. as a human, a women, a salesperson, a wife and as a mother to her daughter.. if only she knew her responsibilities.. she'll understand what life really is.

p/s: if you want me to be nice, be nice to me.. if this post hurts your feelings while reading, i dont think i should apologise. i think you should understand the whole situation.

here's a message to that 'bitch'..



U'RE THE WORSE BITCH I EVER KNOW!!!

Moody Mood

this past few days, my mood was not very good. each time when i'm reaching the happy moments, the 'something bad' will happen and it spoils everything.

i know i'm a short tempered person. and i know it's something not good. but i also do know that i'm trying my best to control it. but as it had happened, and it keep on repeating over and over again, i really hate to mention it but if i don't spill it out, where else could i do it??

there are something i really don't like. and i've told many times that it really hurts me deep inside. but i guess they want me to more be understanding from time to time. okay~~ so, when is the time that they can understand me?? when i keep on holding back my anger, it will burst out and the effects will be on everyone. they don't like it but why they keep on doing it??

and again.. here i am complaining about life. i don't want to be the person who pretends that his/her life is so great. hypocrite? well, i don't know.. as long as my complains is not giving troubles to anyone then it's not your problem for me to write whatever i want, unless you think it's related to you.

sometimes i just feel like giving up, not able to fight for it anymore. it's a real burden for me to hold it all the time. maybe i'm being too emotional. yess, i admit that i'm a very sensitive person. you people should know from the very 1st day we met. cos i speak what i want to speak and do what i want to do.

sometimes people do things without considering others feeling. what, do you expect me to read your mind??? SORRY, I'M NO MIND READER! before doing something, please consider your surroundings before giving trouble to them. i really don't want to get involved in it.

i'm posting this because i'm not in a good mood right now. i'm letting everything go to ease my burden. well, at least it helps a bit. i know maybe for others i sound rude.. this is me. if you be nice to me then i'll be more glad to repay your good deeds. but if you really annoy me.. then you're pouring gas on a fire!

after this i hope my burden will go away. cos i don't want to think about it anymore.

guess life isn't that sweet at all

Woot~ Woot~~

heya, after few months being 'invisible' on the net, guess its payback time!

can't do any updates right now. will 'payback' when the ideas comes non-stop and over-flowing from my head. soon. can't promise when but will be updating before school semester break starts :D

too busy checkin out something. too busy with 'my own world' hehe..

love and peace ya'll. muaahhhxxx!