Anger Management

My hubby used to tell me to control my temper. The fact that i always gets upset and angry over small things and will drag it till i feel satisfied after i let it out - only to do it in the wrong way.

Whenever i get angry and there's something that irritates me (especially when i feel cheated!) my heart beat goes very fast and feels like it'll explode inside me unless i take it out to who-ever i can, and usually my hubby gets the heat.

I feel sorry for him, cause he have to be patient facing my temper... but i feel very lucky to have him in my life. A very understanding person, and most of all, patient enough to handle me.. but i don't know till when can he handle it?

I tried my very best not to be angry over small matters. I've been searching for some tips and clues on how to control bad tempers.. I googled here and there, some from Dr. Phil which i feel like it doesn't work on me. After few hours of searching, i found an article that is very interesting for me to read (and apply!)

4 Steps to Control Temper.

Many of us at times have been upset. Being upset is a part of life. Not all things will go the way you want them to go. When this upset turns to anger we must be careful how we handle ourselves.

Here are 4 steps to control your anger and have it vent in proper ways.

1. Count to 10 when you are getting upset. This is a normal way that we have all heard. We have heard it because it works if you practice it. Count to 10 and you may solve many of your outbursts before they happen.

2. Do something that is physically exerting. Instead of punching a wall or a person, go run around the house, or mow the yard. Go for a walk, swim, bikeride, or shoot some hoops. This can provide a physical outlet for your emotions.

3. Find something that is calming. Try deep breathing from your diaphragm. Take 10 deep calming breaths. This can be very soothing for most people. Combine this with step 1 and count to 10 slowly while breathing.

4. Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. I am frustrated because you didn't help with the housework, instead of You didn't help me with the housework. This helps in multiple ways one is your way of thinking is a bit better and you also do not upset the other person so that both parties are angry. Which of course is not a good outcome for anyone.

You can combine multiple steps above to help alleviate anger. Don't hold it in, but don't blow up. Calm yourself down and talk about it by using step number 4 above. Go for a swim or a nice shower, and you can alleviate the stresses that cause unhealthy anger.

I hope this time i can really change. It's depends on how strong i am to handle myself, and the rest.. i leave it to God for his guidance. Amen~

Wife or Girlfriend

Some people say :
Wife is a HARIMAU (Tiger)
Girlfriend is HARI HARI MAU (Like to have it everyday)

And some say:
Wife is like TV, Girlfriend is like Handphone (HP)
At home watch TV, Go out bring HP.
No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.
Sometimes enjoy TV but most of the time play with HP.
TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.
TV is big, bulky and most of the time old but HP is cute, slim, curvy and portable at any time.
Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP is high and often demanding.
Most important, TV got remote but HP doesn't have.

Last but not least........
TV do not have virus but HP have VIRUS......
Once get it, HABIS LAH (Finish-gone case).

So better choose TV lah!

Marriage Blessing

We thank You, O God, for the love You have implanted in our hearts.

May it always inspire us to be kind in our words, considerate of feelings, and concerned for
each other's needs and wishes.

Help us to be understanding and forgiving of human weaknesses and failings.

Increase our faith and trust in You and may Your prudence guide our life and love.

Bless our marriage, O God, with peace and happiness, and make our Love fruitful for Your glory
and our joy both here and in eternity.

Civil Marriage

16th December 2010

I'm legally and officially became Mrs. Yong and changed my title from 'Cik' to 'Puan'

After waiting for 21 days, we finally became husband and wife officially by law. But, still have to wait for another 30 days for our wedding ceremony.

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We went to JPN (Jab. Pendaftaran Negeri) for our Civil Marriage. It is compulsory for every Malaysian who wants to get married and legally to pronounced themselves as husband and wife.

What is Civil Marriage?

A civil marriage is one where the marriage ceremony has a government or civil official perform the ceremony. It is a wedding that takes place without any religious affiliation and meets the legal requirements of the locale. Some countries require that a couple have their first marriage ceremony be a civil ceremony in a public location and that the ceremony is open to the public. The couples can then be married in a church and have a religious ceremony performed by a member of the clergy.

Marriage at the Registrar's Office

• Both of you must give notice of marriage in the prescribed form to the Registrar of Marriage of your marriage district in which you have been resident at least seven (7) days before the giving of such notice.
• The Registrar will put it up on the notice board of the Registry until he/she grants his/her certificate for marriage or until three (3) months have elapsed, whichever is earlier.
• If both of you have been residents for the required period in the same marriage district, only one such notice is required.
• Both of you must also sign a written declaration in the prescribed form stating that you have complied with all the requirements and that there are no legal obstacles.
• When the notice has been on the board for at least twenty-one (21) days, the Registrar shall, upon payment to him/her of the prescribed fee, issue his/her certificate of marriage.
• You must then make a date for the marriage to be solemnized by the Registrar. This has to take place within six (6) months from the date of the notice.
• If the marriage does not take place within the specified period, a fresh notice has to be given.
• After the marriage at the Registry, you will be legally married.
• You may go through a customary ceremony if you wish but you are required to produce your certificate of marriage to the person officiating the ceremony.
  

Before we sign the papers, the Registrar will read out our rights as husband and wife. To make us understand more about what should and shouldn't be done when living together. We were told that our marriage is based on 'Monogamy' which is very contrast to 'Polygamy'.

What is Monogamy?

It refers to a form of marriage in which an individual has only one spouse at any one time. However, monogamy may also refer to the more general state of having only one mate at any one time and as such may be applied to the social behavior of all animals.[1] In current usage monogamy often refers to having one sexual partner irrespective of marriage or reproduction.

Monogamy vs Polygamy

Monogamy and polygamy are the two distinguishing types of marital structures that exist in modern society, each having differentiating circumstances encompassing their views. Monogamy, universally accepted in the American culture, can be defined as when a single female and male come together, marry, and mate. Polygamy, more formerly accepted in the Arabic and African cultures, is defined as when one single male marries and mates with several single females. The rules of marriage are fairly well drawn out for monogamy, but polygamy is faced with the contrary due its complex nature.

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As for us (non-Muslims), we are not allowed to have more than 1 partner, unless the person is divorced by death, change of religion (partner converted to Muslim) or warren from the court when filing for divorce.

But as Christians, we are not allowed to divorce unless death comes.

It is not easy to be someone's husband or wife. It is a new beginning of life. A new journey for both of us. May the ups and downs will bring us closer to each other and to go through it with patience and happiness.

Marriage Prayer

Lord, help us to remember when we first met and the strong love that grew between us. To work that love into practical things so nothing can divide us.
We ask for words both kind and loving, and for hearts always ready to ask forgiveness as well as to forgive.
Dear Lord, we put our marriage into Your hands.

Amen.

Dear Grandpa..

Date : 08th Dec 2010
Day : Wednesday
Time : 1650 hours

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My dearest grandpa had left us without saying goodbye.

I really miss him.

I'm still trying to accept the fact that he's gone forever.

We didn't have the chance to talk to him on his last moment. He finally leave in peace when everyone arrived at home to see him.

May his soul rest in peace.

.. I miss you 'apa~