♥ unpredictable me

entering the motherhood world

2011-06-20T20:25:00.002+08:00

it's been months since my last update. been very-very-very busy lately. tired from school, bacn and forth from keningau to tenom.. i wish our pengesahan jawatan will approved soon so that i can apply for transfer back to keningau by next year.

a good news had broken my fear.. i'm pregnant by 7 weeks and 2 days (as the nurse helped me to calculate). hubby and i were very excited, happy and nervous at the same time. by next year, we'll become a mother and father to our child, and i think this is the most wonderful experience of our life..

today, hubby accompanied me to hospital for check-up. he was waiting for me patiently, and willingly to skip his work today just to be with me so that he wont miss anything. doctor advised me to have enough rest, avoid long journey and doing hard works.

have to stop by now. will update again when i'm free.. good night ;)

my hubby's collection

2011-02-21T20:43:00.002+08:00

in case of emergency or too broke to go out for a drink *winks*
he won't get mad. as long as his beloved cordon blue martell is still there.
i'll just take the baileys mint choc..

My New Life

2011-01-16T20:06:00.005+08:00

Life is so unpredictable.

I've been telling myself over and over again that everything that happened must have a reason. For the past years, i've been through all the ups and downs in life. I believe not only me, but everyone experienced what we call the 'roller-coaster' that happened in our life.

I'm now a wife. Carrying this title is not easy as i have bigger responsibilities now. But being a part of this new life makes me so excited. I hope that God will always bless our marriage, and with all my witness who witnessed our exchanged vows yesterday, i hope their prayers will make our love stronger everyday.

15012011

Anger Management

2010-12-28T00:24:00.002+08:00

My hubby used to tell me to control my temper. The fact that i always gets upset and angry over small things and will drag it till i feel satisfied after i let it out - only to do it in the wrong way.

Whenever i get angry and there's something that irritates me (especially when i feel cheated!) my heart beat goes very fast and feels like it'll explode inside me unless i take it out to who-ever i can, and usually my hubby gets the heat.

I feel sorry for him, cause he have to be patient facing my temper... but i feel very lucky to have him in my life. A very understanding person, and most of all, patient enough to handle me.. but i don't know till when can he handle it?

I tried my very best not to be angry over small matters. I've been searching for some tips and clues on how to control bad tempers.. I googled here and there, some from Dr. Phil which i feel like it doesn't work on me. After few hours of searching, i found an article that is very interesting for me to read (and apply!)

4 Steps to Control Temper.

Many of us at times have been upset. Being upset is a part of life. Not all things will go the way you want them to go. When this upset turns to anger we must be careful how we handle ourselves.

Here are 4 steps to control your anger and have it vent in proper ways.

1. Count to 10 when you are getting upset. This is a normal way that we have all heard. We have heard it because it works if you practice it. Count to 10 and you may solve many of your outbursts before they happen.

2. Do something that is physically exerting. Instead of punching a wall or a person, go run around the house, or mow the yard. Go for a walk, swim, bikeride, or shoot some hoops. This can provide a physical outlet for your emotions.

3. Find something that is calming. Try deep breathing from your diaphragm. Take 10 deep calming breaths. This can be very soothing for most people. Combine this with step 1 and count to 10 slowly while breathing.

4. Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. I am frustrated because you didn't help with the housework, instead of You didn't help me with the housework. This helps in multiple ways one is your way of thinking is a bit better and you also do not upset the other person so that both parties are angry. Which of course is not a good outcome for anyone.

You can combine multiple steps above to help alleviate anger. Don't hold it in, but don't blow up. Calm yourself down and talk about it by using step number 4 above. Go for a swim or a nice shower, and you can alleviate the stresses that cause unhealthy anger.

I hope this time i can really change. It's depends on how strong i am to handle myself, and the rest.. i leave it to God for his guidance. Amen~

Wife or Girlfriend

2010-12-28T00:04:00.002+08:00

Some people say :
Wife is a HARIMAU (Tiger)
Girlfriend is HARI HARI MAU (Like to have it everyday)

And some say:
Wife is like TV, Girlfriend is like Handphone (HP)
At home watch TV, Go out bring HP.
No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.
Sometimes enjoy TV but most of the time play with HP.
TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.
TV is big, bulky and most of the time old but HP is cute, slim, curvy and portable at any time.
Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP is high and often demanding.
Most important, TV got remote but HP doesn't have.

Last but not least........
TV do not have virus but HP have VIRUS......
Once get it, HABIS LAH (Finish-gone case).

So better choose TV lah!

Marriage Blessing

2010-12-20T02:45:00.000+08:00

We thank You, O God, for the love You have implanted in our hearts.

May it always inspire us to be kind in our words, considerate of feelings, and concerned for
each other's needs and wishes.

Help us to be understanding and forgiving of human weaknesses and failings.

Increase our faith and trust in You and may Your prudence guide our life and love.

Bless our marriage, O God, with peace and happiness, and make our Love fruitful for Your glory
and our joy both here and in eternity.

Civil Marriage

2010-12-20T02:08:00.002+08:00

16th December 2010

I'm legally and officially became Mrs. Yong and changed my title from 'Cik' to 'Puan'

After waiting for 21 days, we finally became husband and wife officially by law. But, still have to wait for another 30 days for our wedding ceremony.

*************************************************************************************

We went to JPN (Jab. Pendaftaran Negeri) for our Civil Marriage. It is compulsory for every Malaysian who wants to get married and legally to pronounced themselves as husband and wife.

What is Civil Marriage?

A civil marriage is one where the marriage ceremony has a government or civil official perform the ceremony. It is a wedding that takes place without any religious affiliation and meets the legal requirements of the locale. Some countries require that a couple have their first marriage ceremony be a civil ceremony in a public location and that the ceremony is open to the public. The couples can then be married in a church and have a religious ceremony performed by a member of the clergy.

Marriage at the Registrar's Office

Both of you must give notice of marriage in the prescribed form to the Registrar of Marriage of your marriage district in which you have been resident at least seven (7) days before the giving of such notice.
The Registrar will put it up on the notice board of the Registry until he/she grants his/her certificate for marriage or until three (3) months have elapsed, whichever is earlier.
If both of you have been residents for the required period in the same marriage district, only one such notice is required.
Both of you must also sign a written declaration in the prescribed form stating that you have complied with all the requirements and that there are no legal obstacles.
When the notice has been on the board for at least twenty-one (21) days, the Registrar shall, upon payment to him/her of the prescribed fee, issue his/her certificate of marriage.
You must then make a date for the marriage to be solemnized by the Registrar. This has to take place within six (6) months from the date of the notice.
If the marriage does not take place within the specified period, a fresh notice has to be given.
After the marriage at the Registry, you will be legally married.
You may go through a customary ceremony if you wish but you are required to produce your certificate of marriage to the person officiating the ceremony.

Before we sign the papers, the Registrar will read out our rights as husband and wife. To make us understand more about what should and shouldn't be done when living together. We were told that our marriage is based on 'Monogamy' which is very contrast to 'Polygamy'.

What is Monogamy?

It refers to a form of marriage in which an individual has only one spouse at any one time. However, monogamy may also refer to the more general state of having only one mate at any one time and as such may be applied to the social behavior of all animals.[1] In current usage monogamy often refers to having one sexual partner irrespective of marriage or reproduction.

Monogamy vs Polygamy

Monogamy and polygamy are the two distinguishing types of marital structures that exist in modern society, each having differentiating circumstances encompassing their views. Monogamy, universally accepted in the American culture, can be defined as when a single female and male come together, marry, and mate. Polygamy, more formerly accepted in the Arabic and African cultures, is defined as when one single male marries and mates with several single females. The rules of marriage are fairly well drawn out for monogamy, but polygamy is faced with the contrary due its complex nature.

*************************************************************************************

As for us (non-Muslims), we are not allowed to have more than 1 partner, unless the person is divorced by death, change of religion (partner converted to Muslim) or warren from the court when filing for divorce.

But as Christians, we are not allowed to divorce unless death comes.

It is not easy to be someone's husband or wife. It is a new beginning of life. A new journey for both of us. May the ups and downs will bring us closer to each other and to go through it with patience and happiness.

Marriage Prayer

Lord, help us to remember when we first met and the strong love that grew between us. To work that love into practical things so nothing can divide us.
We ask for words both kind and loving, and for hearts always ready to ask forgiveness as well as to forgive.
Dear Lord, we put our marriage into Your hands.

Amen.

Dear Grandpa..

2010-12-12T21:09:00.002+08:00

Date : 08th Dec 2010
Day : Wednesday
Time : 1650 hours

*********************************************************************************

My dearest grandpa had left us without saying goodbye.

I really miss him.

I'm still trying to accept the fact that he's gone forever.

We didn't have the chance to talk to him on his last moment. He finally leave in peace when everyone arrived at home to see him.

May his soul rest in peace.

.. I miss you 'apa~

almost december

2010-11-29T13:38:00.002+08:00

it's already holiday season. school break has started 2 weeks ago. been very busy lately, especially before school holiday starts. school activities, courses here and there.. and most important thing is, my big day preparation.

good news for me before school break, my UPSR students managed to pass the english subject - which our school called it as the 'killer subject'. it's a bonus for me since half the class passed, i wasn't hoping for them to score 'A' but i was really proud when one of them managed to score 'B' for english, especially knowing their english level.

in this month also, too many wedding invitations from friends, but too bad can't attend all. i went to my bestfriend wedding reception at KDCA and i'm proud for her cause she finally had gone through it. as for me, still waiting for another 40 days to go..

16th Dec 2010, will be the day when we can finally sign for our marriage certificate, and 15th Jan 2011, for our church ceremony. i just hope everything will be just fine.

hmm~ need to chill out and relax a bit. i sounds soo busy for the preparation but i can't see any progress. there's still a lot of things to be done.

okay, have to stop for now. will update more when i have the time.

till then, happy holidays to my dear friends ;)

hugs and kisses to ya'll

punctuation is powerful :)

2010-10-30T22:41:00.003+08:00

An English professor wrote the following words

"A woman without her man is nothing"

on the board and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All the males in the class wrote:

"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote:

"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is powerful indeed. E'nuf said :D

October Story

2010-10-24T08:04:00.002+08:00

hi.

it's been a very busy month for me. many things had happen but just don't have the right time blog.

i thought it'll be more relax after the UPSR examination is over. unfortunately, more works coming our way, more courses to attend, more school projects to do and more work, work, work.. sigh~ who says being a teacher is easy?

we're starting to get busy for our wedding preparation which we should've done it 2 months earlier. when preparation are done last minute, you'll get stressed up, blurr and miscommunication will happen. what's more important thing is, understanding, tolerance and patient (too bad i'm not that patient enough!)

it's been 2 weeks i've been running back and forth here and there. and i'm starting to get very nervous even though it's still 2 months ahead. i want everything to be well planned. and i want everything to go smoothly. sigh~ i'm already tired actually. this whole process should be fun when it is done in well. i just hope everything will be settled as planned and can't wait for it to happen! when this all process is over, it'll be such a relieve for both of us and both of our family members..

it was also a sad month for me. my baby bruno died after he was 'unaccidently' hit by my brother when he reversed his car. bruno was under his pickup when his neck was below the tyre.. i was sad each time when i think of him. i miss him!

hmm.. times up already. i have to get ready to go for another shopping marathon. yesterday was the 1st round, and today.. 2nd round. hubby was complaining why do shops don't provide seats for tired people. hehe. everything is done in a rush cos we will be back to keningau this evening cos tomorrow i have to be back to tenom to school. a tiring journey, rite?

will post more when i have the time. and will give more updates on my wedding preparations.

chiao~ xoxo

Raya holiday

2010-09-09T08:23:00.003+08:00

2 weeks holiday..

My 1st week i spent my holidays surveying gifts and other wedding preparations for my big day and our pre-wedding photoshoot. Doing outdoor at St. Michael Church, Penampang.

I don't know whether those shots are great but i just hope that the photographer knows how to shoot me at my best angle -- double chins + fatness all covered up.. arghh~~ too much tentions when i get to think of it.

Will be updating more when i have the time. Right now i'm busy checking out this and that before i go back to Keningau tomorrow.

Oh.. tomorrow will be Raya. Can't wait for the rendangs and ketupats as well.. hehe.

The 100th Truth

2010-09-02T19:17:00.005+08:00

okay.. this is my 2nd 100th truth. remembered i posted one last year and that was history. cos this one is from my 'new chapter' of my life journey. some info may change cos it depends on the current situation...

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage:
= kfc

2. Last phone call:
= my baby

3. Last text message:
= my brother - boy

4. Last song you listened to:
= ungu - tercipta untukku

5. Last time you cried:
= i don't remember..

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice:
= more than twice and still dating!

7. Been cheated on:
= yes.. sumthing very hard to forget

8. Been in a relationship & regretted it:
= no. dats wat life is.

9. Lost someone special:
= my cat chyna and my dog lomu (went missing)

10. Been depressed:
= this past few days

11. Been drunk and threw up:
= yes

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:

12. chocolate
13. green
14. blue

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)

15. Made a new friend:
= yes

16. Fallen out of love:
= current mode - in ♥

17. Laughed until you cried:
= yaa!

18. Met someone who changed you:
= my baby - made me feel soo special

19. Found out who your true friends were:
= yes. i never realized it until i read an article mentioning about who our true friends really
are..

20. Found out someone was talking about you:
= yes and who cares anyway?

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list:
= yess~

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life:
= 80%

23. How many kids do you want to have:
= 4.. if possible 2 pairs of twins hehe :D

24. Do you have any pets:
= cats and dogs and daddy's fishes

25. Do you want to change your name:
= no..

26. What did you do for your last birthday:
= alone in my room.. crying~

27. What time did you wake up today:
= 5.30 AM

28. What were you doing at midnight last night:
= sleeping

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for:
= 15th Jan 2011

30. Last time you saw your Mother:
= last tuesday (01st sept), at home

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life:
= trust, happines, love and peace

32. What are you listening to right now:
= the sound of the aircond

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:
= think so. does my cousin Tom counts?

34. What's getting on your nerves right now:
= an event this coming saturday

35. Most visited webpage:
= facebook, yahoo mail, blogspot.

36. Whats your real name:
= yvonne j***t m**n

37. Nicknames:
= colly, bon, evon, bonbon, kundi.

38. Relationship Status:
= engaged!

39. Zodiac sign:
= i'm an aqua baby - aquarians rule!

40. Male or female?
= female

41. Elementary:
= hometown

42. Middle School?:
= hometown

43. High school/college?
= sm stella maris tg. aru , sm st francis xavier keningau

44. Hair colour:
= black

45. Long or short:
= long

46. Height:
= i think i'm 5'5.

47. Do you have a crush on someone?
= yess..

48. What do you like about yourself?
= can't decide

49. Piercings:
= ear & tounge

50. Tattoos:
= none.. would like to have one tho :(

51. Righty or lefty:
= righty

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery:
= nope

53. First piercing:
= 15 years old

54. First best friend
= veronica yamin n fiona felicia bainon and growing stronger..

55. First sport you joined:
= 4x100 during secondary school

56. First vacation
= daddy went to continue his studies far2 away.. do u call dat a vacation? hehe

58. First pair of trainers:
= school days

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating:
= no

60. Drinking:
= no

61. I'm about to:
= finish my report for my GB tomorrow

62. Listening to:
= the sound of this noisy aircond

63. Waiting for:
= my baby's call

YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids?
= definitely yes

65. Get Married?
= definitely!

66. Career?
= gov servant - a teacher by profession

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes:
= eyes

68. Hugs or kisses:
= hugs

69. Shorter or taller:
= taller

70. Older or Younger:
= older bf.. younger looking me :P

71. Romantic or spontaneous:
= can i choose both?

72. Nice stomach or nice arms:
= and both as well hehe~

73. Sensitive or loud:
= sensitive

74. Hook-up or relationship:
= relationship

75. Trouble maker or hesitant:
= hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger:
= no

77. Drank hard liquor:
= yes

78. Lost glasses/contacts:
= my eyesights are still good

79. Sex on first date:
= big no!

80. Broken someone's heart:
= yes.. and the person deserved it!

82. Been arrested:
= hell no

83. Turned someone down:
= yes

84. Cried when someone died:
= of course, im sentimental and sensitive

85. Fallen for a friend?:
= yes. and he's now my darling

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself:
= think so

87. Miracles:
= hell yes!

88. Love at first sight:
= yes yes yes!

89. Heaven:
= yes

90. Santa Claus:
= yes.. till now..

91. Kiss on the first date:
= nooo..

92. Angels:
= yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time:
= yes

95. Did you sing today?
= yes

96. Ever cheated on somebody?:
= previously yes. now NO.

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?:
= go back when it shud be told earlier.

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?:
= christmas

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?:
= last time yes.. now im afraid to let it go

100. Posting this as 100 truth?
= yes. 101% honest!

p/s: only the truth ☺

Miss Malaysia

2010-08-29T03:02:00.002+08:00

One of the main reasons why in recent years the Malaysian Government has always ensured that their Miss Universe representatives were of tertiary level education or higher was because of the following incident which occurred not too many years ago.

It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3 finalists, Miss USA , Miss Malaysia and Miss Singapore were being asked 3 simple questions:

MC: The first question is name me an electrical appliance starting with 'L'
Miss USA : Lamp
Miss Singapore : Light bulb
Miss Malaysia : LADIO
Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter 'L'

MC: I am going to give you 3 more chances; Now, name me an animal starting with the letter 'L'
Miss USA : Lion
Miss Singapore : Leopard
Miss Malaysia : LABBIT
Judge: No, no, no!

MC: Your next chance. The name of a famous car that starts with 'L'
Miss USA : Lexus
Miss Singapore : Lamborghini
Miss Malaysia : Lolls-Loyce
Judge: Oh my God!

MC: I am going to give you one last chance! Name me a fruit starting with the letter 'L'
Miss USA : Lemon
Miss Singapore : Lychee
Miss Malaysia , with full of confidence, smiles and says: LIEWLIAN!!

This is not the end of the story, the Judge consulted the board of judges to determine if Miss Malaysia should really be disqualified ; and they decided that since Miss Malaysia was having so many problems with the letter 'L', they decided to give her another chance.

Judge: OK, the final question is - Name me a human anatomy starting with the letter 'L'
Miss USA : Lung (applause)
Miss Singapore : Liver (even more applause)
Miss Malaysia : LAN CIAU!

The Judges fainted!!

my weekend

2010-08-29T02:51:00.003+08:00

0253 (29th august)

just came back from a drinking session with hubby and his friend. 2 jugs of beer and a can of sprite.. i just need something to make me warm, and thanks to hubby for spending his time with me (cos i know he had other plans with his friends)

yesterday went shopping with mum. it's been a long time we haven't been out together. and my 1st time driving mumy around the town. she thinks the i drive is a joke.. and she even teased the way i parked the car.. hehe~ after sending mumy home, another date with hubby to survey our bedroom set. seems that we can't decide yet. still need to survey more.

i wonder what all my girlfriends are doing now. really miss hanging out with them. can't wait for school holidays to start. hubby's birthday is just around the corner.. still thinking what's the best present should i get for him..

holiday mode = activated!

2010-08-27T15:23:00.003+08:00

seriously, i'm already in my holiday mode. it was activated since the day that i was told 30th august was our last day and school semester starts already. happy like a kid who just got her lollipop, all my teaching mood completely gone.

and yesterday, they told me that the actual school holiday starts on the 4th september.. sigh~ but it's ok, cos im applying leave on the 1st anyway which means i only have 2 days left to teach. counting the days to holiday.. meaning few more months to our big day.

i'm nervous~~

what happened in july - august

2010-08-24T18:01:00.008+08:00

28th - 29th july 2010

convocation day! yay.. after few months, we finally will be meeting our classmates who was posted at sarawak. how i miss them so much. on our registration day, hubby sent me to maktab and he went off to work. met evelyn who was waiting for me. adrina and mel registered earlier, so meet them at adika foodcourt. after our convo rehearsel, we went to ben saloon for our hairdo (dinner convo that was held at juta hotel) which turned out to be a real disaster.. the next day, during my convocation day, huby was missing in action. when i called him, he was on his way to menumbok.. and i was like "wtf?!" okay.. he's not here, so what? mel was also frustrated cos her fiance was not around. in the evening, huby arrived with his innocent face and as usual his 'im sorry' looks. sigh~ to make me feel happy, we decided to take pictures together ☺

during rehearsel.. masi sempat begambar

during convo dinner.. checkout our hairdo, triple disaster. ivy's hair survived hehe.

the foods..
walaupun tidak berapa sedap but since we're sooo hungry habis juga kena makan

nahh.. 2x convo heheh
checkout the fats.. arghhh~~~

with my ♥♥ ☺

__________________________________________________________________

few more days to celebrate our National Day, which means few more days till we reach the end
of month August. many things happened this month.. didn't have the chance to update 1 by 1 since there's tons of unfinished business to do.

7th august 2010 (1st week)

our 1st year anniversary as a couple. i remembered we had a small fight earlier on, and it turned out to be okay when he drove all the way from kk to celebrate it with me. yeah, i know i sound so selfish and i do feel guilty.. which makes me love him more. i bought a chocolate cake for our anniversary, and he bought me an anklet as a present..

our anniversary cake.. didn't managed to finish it but at least we made a wish ☺

hubby and i want to get pampered so we went for a body massage at queen's hotel. service? not quite satisfied. we felt sleepy after the body massage. we chose aromatherapy but we didn't smell any nice scent there. saw one of the workers was holding a baby oil.. hmm, dunno la maybe we shud've see the oil before they start the treatment. but the sauna was good. we felt a bit 'lighter' then usual :)

hmm.. what else? next week our school holidays starts. ours starts a week in advance ☺ too happy and too many plans to do. especially for our wedding preparations. interview with father, door gifts survey, cards design, pre-wedding photoshoot and many many more..

ok, im tired right now. need to rest. missing huby soo much. he's in labuan right now and at this moment he's asleep cos he's very tired working one whole day. till then. will do more updates. bye~~

♥ ♥ ♥

losing weight?

2010-08-05T17:51:00.002+08:00

it's always in my new year resolution.. i think it's been on the list for almost 8 years already.

sigh~ it's too easy to gain weight, but very hard to lose it. haha. for the past few months i've been working my ass hard to lose weight for my big day, and especially for our pre-wedding photo shoot. whatever, i've been practicing every day how to pose for the right angle for the cameraman to shoot me. aduii~~ this fats makes me feel very uncomfortable especially during photography session. i hate it when i see those fats bulging here and there.. not to say the double chin.. sigh~

i have 1 month to shred few kgs' before the photo shoot session. and few months before my big day. currently, im on diet. a packet of fiber + low fat milk for breakfast, 2 slices of bread + 3-in-1 coffee for lunch break at school, red bean for lunch and fibre + low fat milk for dinner. but anyhow, i do sometimes crave for ngau chap and pan mee.. so it goes it my diet meal as well.. heheh~~ and for workout, i walk around the track for about 10 rounds.. do you think i can make it before end of this year? hehe..

updates

2010-08-04T23:08:00.004+08:00

currently i was busy for my english course and convocation day. i really enjoyed myself during the 2 days sessions with my tesl classmates who most of them flew all the way back from sarawak to sabah for our convocation ceremony (28th - 29th July).. will upload more pictures soon.. i'm too sleepy now to do the updates..

ooohh~~ very heavy rain now. hope i can sleep well.. will try and update by tomorrow :)

nite nite everyone..

nite nite my love ☺ ♥

bored and hungry

2010-07-22T09:04:00.001+08:00

im hungry.

attending a 3 days course makes me happy cos it means i'll be back to my hometown. my 2nd day today attending our phase 3 course for MBI. and today is our pay day! yay~ what a good day for me. yesterday went shopping with cousin Lay. and today dont know whats our next plan.

and now.. still hungry. another 1 hour to go to wait for our breakfast to be served.

today i want to go to the bank to bank in some money and to shop, shop and shop.

will continue again later, mr. gordie is giving his lectures right now.. hehehe~

mi amor

2010-07-15T18:44:00.003+08:00

I must learn to love the fool in me
the one who feels too much,
talks too much,
takes too many chances,
wins sometimes and loses often,
lacks self-control,
loves and hates,
hurts and gets hurt,
promises and breaks promises,
laughs and cries
So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been..
_________________________________________________________

each time when i browse the net and see most happy couples posting their pictures together, held each other tight in their arms.. i really envy them. how i wish i'm happy like them. how i wish i can be like them. i don't want anything else. i just want to be loved and to love. i just want to feel the warmth having someone who really care. i just need something that make me feel special. all i want is happiness. why is it so hard for me to have it? and why is it so hard for you to show it? i just don't understand~~

trust is thy name

2010-07-14T00:41:00.004+08:00

catched up with an old friend of mine. he was giving me some useful advice. an opinion from a guy is totally different from girls. i need to hear from both party.

i'm getting too emotional day by day. i tried my very best not to be, and i'm still trying really hard to avoid all those negative things. dang! how i wish i'm strong!!

i need strength to believe the positive side. i need more trust to believe.

it's already late. 0048 hours. need to sleep to wake up early. hopefully my day will get better and better day by day.

losen up the grip!

2010-07-13T16:57:00.002+08:00

i was chatting with my bff last night.. and she's sensing something is wrong about my life. well, typically i'm fine but the way i sound doesn't sounds soo good at all ☺ ahh~ the repetition of life complains.. that's all about it.

maybe i'm too tighten up with everything. i need to relax, chill and loosen up myself. there's one word that describes me right now.. INSECURITY. yes, that's exactly what i'm feeling at this very moment. and it has been a shadow of mine since the day when something had broken me into pieces.

lately, i've been thinking too much and worrying too much. but thinking back, seems like it's not worth it at all when the other way round is different. yea, i cared too much about everything but in return, i receive nothing. how can i let myself loose?

give me time to let everything go slowly. i don't want to know and i don't even care what's happening next. i just want to go with the flow and see what's next ☺

postponed

2010-07-11T18:59:00.002+08:00

finally, the decision is clearly stated that the 'ringing bells' will be next year.

honestly saying, i'm frustrated. very much frustrating when the planning was discussed since end of last year and till now no actions were done. i can't blame anyone on this matter. it's clearly both sides fault. and yeah, i'm still frustrated. maybe i'm hoping too much on it. i need to chill out and cool down rather then letting my head spinning like crazy trying to push something that is clearly unstated.

whatever. since baby molly is here, it's easier for me to release my tensions. i'm living my life to the max. forgetting about everything. whatever consequences that may come, fcuk it and just let it go. and i don't want to give a fcuk about it anymore. i'll just wait and see. if one wanted it badly, it will surely 'do' it.

i'm now sitting alone in my rented room. i'm clearly bored. tomorrow school starts. it's already monday. can't wait for friday to come. will be going down to kk with cousin memei, girlfriend chi and another 2 kids. babysitting. haha. but i have this feeling that this coming friday we all will be having a real blast. and i seriously want to get myself drunk and forget about everything. EVERYTHING!

sounds like now a days i've been complaining about life. it really sucks. i just want to let go of something that's really hurting me. it's been clinging on me all the time and each time it's almost falling down, the cling then suddenly became tighter again. i wonder why..

i'll tell the good news when it's officialy confirmed. so please don't ask me when. i'm too stressed out to think of it. it should be functioning when both party are communicating. am i right?

bitter sweet life

2010-07-06T22:13:00.004+08:00

i was on facebook when my ex-housemate @ friend buzz me for a chat. he said he need help. and i asked what kind of help.. another friend of mine is in deep shit. i asked what kind of trouble he's in to? he said.. "dia mo commit suicide"... then there goes the silence..

i thought my friend was just fooling around with me just to get my attention. but he insist on me to check up on our friend. so i gave our friend a call, there he was, talking to me emotionally crying. i asked what's wrong with him? he said his life is a mess. he gave up on almost everything he's been doing. i felt pity on him. he was once married and blessed with a cute daughter. but his marriage didn't work out because of 3rd person. of all this time we thought he had recovered from his broken marriage, but what we guessed were wrong. he cannot bear everything alone. he was cool enough to hide his emotions but wasn't cool enough to keep it to the extend he want's to commit suicide. as a friend, i tried giving him some advice, i don't know whether it really works on no cos me myself having my own personal issue. i tried my very best to convince him that doing that is not gonna change a thing. we still have our very own friends and family who still cares..

he was crying while we were talking. i tried to listen to every word he's trying to tell me but his cries is more louder than his words. all i could hear is his murmuring to me as if he's whispering but in a loud version. he feels lonely after what his wife had done to him. and his few attempts in having a relationship with someone else didn't work. he needs time to heal.. and someone who truly can understand him and be there for him to be his shoulder to cry on. continuing his story, he misses his daughter and ex-wife very much. what can i do? i can only listen to his pain. at least to ease the burden he's been carrying for this past few years.

i know how it feels missing someone badly. cos i'm missing 'him 'very bad but i don't know how to tell him. i then told my other friend to go and visit him soon as possible cos he sound critically in a bad situation.

i don't know what's happening next. he'll keep me update when he reaches to our friends house. i hope nothing bad will happen.

now waiting for the updates.. hope everything will be fine. 'everything'.

free as a bird

2010-07-06T19:15:00.001+08:00

whatever it takes to make you happy, you can do whatever you want without having to consider others feelings. you were never wrong, it was me to be blame..

Free as a bird,
it's the next best thing to be.
Free as a bird.

Home, home and dry,
like a homing bird I'll fly
as a bird on wings.

Whatever happened to
the lifes that we once knew?
Can we really live without each other?

Where did we lose the touch
that seemed to mean so much?
It always made me feel so...

Free as a bird,
like the next best thing to be.
Free as a bird.

white flag

2010-07-04T20:40:00.003+08:00

i gave up almost everything of what i'm dreaming of. my hopes and dreams. i've been pushing myself off the limit already and yet there's still nothing i can do.

my heart is hurted deeply each time when i think of it. worse then ever. i've been playing with my own hopes and dreams and whatever i try to achieve and make it to happen, it was just another fantasy of mine.

i'm too exhausted and tired of all these silly arguments. day by day i'm pressured by it but some people just don't understand.

reality does bite. and it already bitten parts of me that it hurts badly.

i surrender.

Parts of my loved ones

2010-06-29T02:44:00.004+08:00

26th June 2010

My weekends with my dearest childhood girlfriends. I was very sad and upset because hubby was not there to spend time with me. My girlfriends helped to cheer me up. It was supposed to be the day for our fitting costume, but i have to understand that hubby is busy working and not able to accompany me on that day.. But nevermind, my girls were there for me and plus I had so much fun. At least it made me happy for a while when I'm not thinking about hubby. It's been 18 years of friendship, and yet we're still going strong.

Our 18 years of friendship. The bonds of sisterhood is always there.
Love them very much.
And I missed my other girlfriends too.
Some went missing, but yet still struggling to catch up with them.

28th June 2010

My students of Year 5 made a surprise for me. I was busy writing something on the board when the class monitor, Rinddy told me they have something for me. They took it out, it was a cake, ordered by my students. It was a belated teachers day gift for me. I feel so touched! It was an honour for me as a new teacher. I remembered the past 6 months being their class teacher, I'm one of the fierce one, and yet they still like me ☺

The looks on their innocent faces makes me feel warmth. I know sometimes they are very hard to handle. But they are just normal kids, only with a bit naughty attitude. The smile on their faces looking at me smiling as I received the cake from them, makes them even more happier. So, without waiting any longer, Rinddy and Bryan helped me to cut the cake and giving it to the whole class. They were very happy.. cake eating plus no lesson on that day..

Didn't manage to take a photo of the cake, but I promised them to organize a small makan-makan for them this coming Thursday. They smiled eagerly. Their faces glows waiting for Thursday to come. I smiled happily looking at their happy faces.

I'm Tired

2010-06-24T16:28:00.002+08:00

I don't know how to let it out.

I've been nagging about it for weeks. Our 'big day' is something special that needs special attention. It's not about saying it and the next thing it's already done. NO. It's all about good planning.

I'm too tired now to think of it. I admit I get carried away on the plannings. But now, I just don't know how, where and when to start. Few more months to go, and it's almost there but yet, not even a single plan that have been done.

I'm trying to understand the whole situation. What's happening now. I know that preparing it need patience and trust and more patience. How can you deal with it when it's few months away but still, even a date was not confirmed? Sigh~~

Too upset now. I'm giving up almost everything. I'll just let the time decide, whether it can happen or not this year. Cross fingers, I do want it to happen this year but hey, time will tell.

I'm too tired to argue about the whole thing. I'll just have to wait.

Money Is Not Everything...

2010-06-24T16:06:00.003+08:00

Money can buy a house, but not a home,
Money can buy a bed, but not sleep,
Money can buy a clock, but not time,
Money can buy a book, but not knowledge,
Money can buy food, but not appetite,
Money can buy position, but not respect,
Money can buy blood, but not life,
Money can buy medicine, but not health,
Money can buy sex, but not love,
Money can buy insurance, but not safety,

Ask yourself, can money really buy the happiness that your heart truly desires?

It was never about money. It's all about something that truly makes you feel worth it. Something that always makes you feel appreciated, loved and cared. We just can't buy feelings. Even when I'm broke, I'm still happy eventhough it's been a rough time without money. If there's someone who's willing to be with you when you're broke or in critical situation, I believe, the support and the happiness is the pillar to overcome everything that's blocking your way.

I just can't understand, why do we have to work like a dog just for the sake of money that can't buy the happiness? :(

Before 30 Wish List and Priorities..

2010-06-23T19:38:00.006+08:00

Living together will be the next episode in my life. I'm no longer daddy's or mummy's girl. I belong to someone whom I truly love. I have my own dream of happiness, and I hope to have it one day. Here some of my wish list i wish to achieve before I reach 30. I'll try to achieve whatever I can, hopefully some of my dreams may come true. Although some are of course soon-to-be, but still, it's considered something that I want to have before I hit the age '30' ☺ ♥

.. and the lists are ..

1. Settle down - with my new title Mrs. Yong ☺ ♥

2. My dream car - Mitsubishi Airtrek
(fell in love with this baby!)

3. Toyota Caldina GT
Not my dream car but since hubby likes it so much,
so consider it in my wish list lah~

4. Babies! ☺
Yea, to have a family of my own with hubby..

5. Fabulous Male Female 17' Sport Rim
For my baby Molly.

.. and this list will be updated again ☺

My loved ones are always my top priorities. They're above anything else that matters to me. Hubby is always on the top, whatever it is. Why? I'll do anything for the person I love. Sounds pathetic? Slave of love? I know it may sound so traditional, but when it comes to marriage, i'd prefer the old style. I'm still into this traditional thingy, where the wife cooks and do the house cleaning, like whatever normal housewife do. I believe in marriage life, there's always give and take. And I trust hubby and thanked him for always giving me my own space, eventhough I lose control of myself, his understandings and rationality leads us to become more forgiving and forgetting. I really appreciate everything that I have at the moment..

baby Molly

2010-06-21T19:02:00.003+08:00

Since yesterday I arrived from my hometown, I haven't unpacked my things. It's still in the baskets and luggage. Dang! I miss hubby~

Been online since afternoon, downloading my favourite Korean movie - Lovers in Paris and few songs for me and baby Molly to listen and sing together ☺ Spent my free time surfing the net trying to figure out where to find all those smiley symbols I saw some people been doing that on FB for quite some time. Yeah, I know sounds out-dated kan?! Well, not an IT type but hey, at least i'm learning..

1st day baby Molly traveled that far, slow and steady.

We'll see how she improve the next day ☺

back to school

2010-06-20T15:54:00.002+08:00

After enjoying our 'long' holiday... i'm soo not in the mood to go back to Tenom.

Here I am now, in my rumah sewa.. figuring out how to entertain myself. I miss home very much. I miss hubby very much. Honestly, I'm not in the mood teaching tomorrow. Give me few days to adapt back the 'teaching spirit' :)

During holidays, most of my times were at home. Spending my time with my dogs Bruno, Max, Scarlett, Blackie, Roxy, Lomu and Lanun. Besides doing house cleaning, cooking and bla bla bla, like most of the maids to, that's my job. World Cup fever? Nah.. I'm not in the mood at the moment. Couldn't feel the 'heat'.. I wonder why.. hhmm~~~

Our pre-wedding photoshoot session had to be postponed to next month. Hubby had to go outstation, and he's been in Labuan since the last 3 weeks. Tension~ But what to do, no reason why I should ask him not to go. Talking about pre-wedding, too much tensions arise. Planning is a mess, and we seems can't find a 'time' to discuss and to make it the final decisions. Guess it's part of the ups and downs for going-to-be-married-couples.. I hope everything will be just fine. At least, there's still mutual understanding between us, and at least we still have the time to spend time with each other, forgetting everything that's trying to make us apart.

Baby Molly will be going to school tomorrow, hopefully everything will be just fine. Hubby said I drove too fast while going down the hill. Really didn't notice that, guess the speeding excitement is already there.. hehe~

Ok, time to check my emails. Will be around again :)

The 'I Do' Thingy~~

2010-05-30T02:00:00.003+08:00

I'm now in KK, couldn't sleep cos i don't feel sleepy at all.. or was it the coffee i drank too much this morning??

Arrived from KB this evening, attended my cousin's wedding. Sigh~ can't wait for my turn to happen. I'm happy for her. Seeing the smile on her face after the blessing ceremony at the church, makes me wonder how does it feel after officially being pronounced as husband and wife?

It must be one of those 'happiest' moments in our lives =)

Can't wait for that moment to come~

Holiday mode = Activated!!

2010-05-27T11:20:00.002+08:00

Just came back from school. I'm back early today cos Siti have to rush back home to do some preparations before she goes back to Selangor for our 3 weeks holiday.

Something funny happened today @ this morning. I woke up late at 0645 hours and realized that I'm waayyy too late to get ready. So, I called Siti to wait for me for 20 minutes. Amazingly, I managed to get ready in that time. Shower + makeups.. normally, it took me almost an hour to prepare.

Today, last paper for exam paper. The children were very excited to finish up their paper and to celebrate the 3 weeks holiday. Before i leave my students at year 5, gave them few advice for this holiday seasons. Take care, study, read books.. bla bla bla (just like my teacher told me when I was in primary school) hehe~~

Now, I'm back at home. Waiting for huby to pick me up. Most probably he's working right now cos he's not replying my messages, or most probably he's still sleeping (!@#). Anyhow, my holiday mode is already activated. I don't want to think of anything else except to relax my mind. Maybe I won't be blogging during this holiday. See lah~ Depends when I'm in a good mood then I'll do some updates.

Till then, happy holidays to all of you. Don't drink and drive.

What tree did you fall from?

2010-05-26T14:39:00.002+08:00

Find your birthday, find your tree and then scroll down.. This is really cool and somewhat accurate, also in line with Celtic astrology.

APPLE TREE (Love)
Jun 25 to Jul 04
Dec 23 to Dec 31

Of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.

ASH TREE (Ambition)
May 25 to Jun 03
Nov 22 to Dec 01

Uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be egotistic, very reliable and trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over the heart, but takes partnership very seriously.

BEECH TREE (Creative)
Dec 22

Has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)

BIRCH TREE (Inspiration)
Jun 24

Vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly,pretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

CEDAR TREE (Confidence)
Feb 09 to Feb 18
Aug 14 to Aug 23

Of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others,self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress others, many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

CHESTNUT TREE (Honesty)
May 15 to May 24
Nov 12 to Nov 21

Of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.

CYPRESS TREE (Faithfulness)
Jan 25 to Feb 03
Jul 26 to Aug 04

Strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, content, optimistic, craves money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic, and careless.

ELM TREE (Noble-Minded)
Jan 12 to Jan 24
Jul 15 to Jul 25

Pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, loudest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

FIG TREE (Sensibility)
Jun 14 to Jun 23
Dec 12 to Dec 21

Very strong, a bit self-willed,independent, does not allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, its family, children and animals, a bit of a social butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness, of practical talent and intelligence.

FIR TREE (Mysterious)
Jan 01 to Jan 11
Jul 05 to Jul 14

Extraordinary taste, dignity, sophisticated, loves anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very ambitious, talented, industrious, uncontested lover, many friends, many foes, very reliable.

HAZELNUT TREE (Extraordinary)
Mar 22 to Mar 31
Sep 24 to Oct 03

Charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for social cause, popular, moody, and capricious lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.

HORNBEAM TREE (Good Taste)
Jun 04 to Jun 13
Dec 02 to Dec 11

Of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

LIME TREE (Doubt)
Mar 11 to Mar 20
Sep 13 to Sep 22

Accepts what life dishes out in a composed way, hates fighting, stress, and labor, dislikes laziness and idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous but loyal.

MAPLE TREE (Independent)
Apr 11 to Apr 20
Oct 14 to Oct 23

No ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

OAK TREE (Brave)
Mar 21

Robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

OLIVE TREE (Wisdom)
Sep 23

Loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

PINE TREE (Particular)
Feb 19 to Feb 28
Aug 24 to Sep 02

Loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, everything disappointments until it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.

POPLAR TREE (Uncertainty)
Feb 04 to Feb 08
May 01 to May 14
Aug 05 to Aug 13

Looks very decorative, not very self-confident, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

ROWAN TREE (Sensitivity)
Apr 01 to Apr 10
Oct 04 to Oct 13

Full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

WALNUT TREE (Passion)
Apr 21 to Apr 30
Oct 24 to Nov 11

Unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

WEEPING WILLOW (Melancholy)
Mar 01 to Mar 10
Sep 03 to Sep 12

Beautiful but full of melancholy, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.

Is it either 'her way' or 'no way'?

2010-05-26T14:21:00.003+08:00

My sis forwarded this beautiful email to me. It made me think about it:

WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?
Cos i myself can't really decide what I want..

So, I decided to share this story to everyone (some of you may already have heard this story before)..

This is quite interesting. ....
(To women) Please take time to ponder.....
(To men) Just enjoy the story.......

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom..

The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden.

But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.

Arthur's question thus: 'What a woman really wants?'
She said, 'A woman wants to be in charge of her own life.'

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.

The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half.

'Which would you prefer?' She asked him. 'Beautiful during the day .... or at night?'
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
Or,
Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?
But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?

(If you are a man reading this) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
And Lancelot's choice is given below...

BUT... please make YOUR choice first before you scroll down below... OKAY?

W
H
A
T

W
O
U
L
D

U
R

C
H
O
I
C
E

B
E
??

Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time.. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now... what is the moral to this story?

Korea.. Here I come~~

2010-05-26T12:47:00.005+08:00

I posted at my facebook that I'll be leaving to Korea this coming holiday. Happy to know that they care enough to know my updates hehe.. I actually didn't mean to fool them, I just want to make my shoutout more interesting and to make their curiosity become more stronger. But I do plan one day to visit there..

It's all the influence from watching the Korean Dramas. A friend of mine had a collection of it. She's a Korean Drama freak, and I can say she's addicted to it. She bought few collections of it that's worth more than RM100. Whatever series you want to watch, you name it, she has it :D

The only Korean Drama that I'm addicted to is 'Lovers In Paris'. Very interesting. But you can always predict what will happen next. Cause after watching few dramas, I can predict that:

the hero must be handsome, rich, cool and unpredictable
the heroin, pretty (a must), either poor and hardworking or rich and kind hearted and always bullies the hero
there's always a 3rd person in her life and she must chose one of them. but then of course she chose the hero :P
the hero and 3rd person must be either friends, siblings, related or his own rival from another company

Ok, enough of this prediction. I still do enjoy watching this kind of dramas. And if anyone of you who happen to read this blog, and knows where I can download the 'Lovers in Paris' drama for free.. please let me know :P

Huby and I plan to visit Korea one day, maybe during our honeymoon or with friends, doesn't matter.. Hope our wishes will come true. Amen.

So, to all of you who's interested to have a vacation there, here are some useful tips:

Greetings
Hello : an-nyeong-ha-se-yo
Good bye (I remain) : an-nyeong-hi ka-se-yo
Good bye (I leave.) : an-nyeong-hi kye-se-yo
Good-day (general) : an-nyeong-ha-se-yo
Good night : an-nyeong-hi ju-mu-se-yo
Nice to meet you : ban-gap seum-ni-da
Honorific or polite greeting : an-yong-ha-shim-nikka
Answering the phone greeting (like hello) : yobo-sayo
Goodbye to friends : ann-yonng (it feels good if your kids say this to you)

Responses
Yes : ye or ne
No : a-ni-yo
Good : jo-seum-ni-da
Bad : na-peum-ni-da
I don't like : sil-seum-ni-da

Basic Words and Sentences
Thank you : kam-sa-ham-ni-da
Thank you very much : tae-dan-hi kam-sa-ham-ni-da
You are welcome : cheon-ma-ne-yo
Please : je-bal
Please help me : jom do-wa-ju-se-yo
Give me please : ju-se-yo
Excuse me : je-song-ham-ni-da or shilae?ham-ni-da
I don't understand : jal mo-reu-get-sum-ni-da or mul-ay-oh (don?t know)
How do you say this in [English]? : i-geo-seul [yeong-eo]-ro meo-ra-go ham-ni-ka
Can you speak [English]? : [yeong-eo]-ro mal-hal-su it-seum-ni-ka
What is your name? : -reu-mi mu-eo-sim-ni-ka
Nice to meet you : ban-kap-seum-ni-da
How are you? : eo-teo-ke ji-nae-sim-ni-ka
Where is the bathroom (toilet)? : hwa-jang-sil-i eo-di i-sum-ni-ka
I'm sorry : mi-yan-ham-ni-da
Please be quiet : cho-yong-ee-hae (close mouths)
Don't touch it/me : man-jee-jee-marr (depending on if you are pointing to something else)
Don't do that : hudge-ii mar
this : ee-go
country : na-ra
big : kun
Wonderful : hul-ryung-han
Awesome : a-sa (not really necessary but you will notice your kids will say it a lot when you let them play games, we ended up saying this a lot too, just for fun)

Travel
Where is [Seoul station]? : [Seoul-yeok]-i eo-di-e i-seup-ni-ka
How much is the fare? : yo-geum-i eol-ma-im-ni-ka
ticket : pyo
One ticket to [Seoul] please : Seoul-ro ga-neun pyo han-jang ju-sip-si-yo
Where are you going? : eo-di-e ga-sim-ni-ka
Where do you live? : eo-di-e sa-sim-ni-ka
train : gi-cha
bus : bus
subway : ji-ha-cheol
airport : gong-hang
train station : ji-cha-yeok
bus station : bus jeong-geo-jang
subway station : jeon-cheol-yeok
hotel : hotel
room : bang
reservation : ye-yak
Are there any vacancies for [tonight]? : [o-neul-bam] bin-bang eop-seum-ni-ka
passport : yeo-kwon
Stop here : yog-ee-o (for halting a taxi etc.)

Shopping
How much does it cost? : eol-ma-im-ni-ka
What is this? : i-go-seun mu-eo-sim-na-ka
I'll buy it : i-go-seul sa-ge-seum-ni-da
Too expensive (The price is too high.) : neo-mu bi-ssa-yo
Could you lower the price? (Give me a discount, please.) : jom kka-kka-ju-se-yo
stamp : u-pyo
a little : jo-geum
a lot : ma-ni
all : mo-du

To learn more.. please click this link.. hope it will be something useful for you if you do plan to visit Korea one day.. Happy Learning :)

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. ~Chinese Proverb

!@#$%

2010-05-24T20:44:00.003+08:00

life. pretty much f*cked up these days. people tend to take advantage on me when they feel they can. and me, on the other hand, keeping quiet waiting for the time to explode.

i'm not stupid for not speaking out, i'm just playing dumb just to see whether they really think i am. what'ya want from me??

why oh why another whining days.

i need a vacation. i need something to relax mind.

Coming soon holidays~

2010-05-24T16:50:00.003+08:00

Monday blues~

School exam starts today till Thursday. I'm the 'teacher-in-charge' for this week..

To my suprise, overall attendance per 177 only 2 person were absent at year 1, very much unusual. Maybe because it's exam day. My student Dilfelikee who were absent since last month, was present today.

Friday is a public holiday.. It's Wesak Day..

Guess after this will not be blogging for quiet sometime. I'll be on holiday mood. A lot of things to do for my wedding preparation. I'll always find a time for more updates..

Wedding Bells Ringing?

2010-05-23T22:19:00.003+08:00

Sigh~~ i'm pretty upset and confused right now. There were already few changes for our 'big day'.. and we still can't make up our mind when is the actual date. It is yet to be confirmed.

Huby and I had decided and agreed about the dates that we had planned after few changes. But then, again.. family issues, they think it's still not the right time. I mean, they do really want us to settle down this year, but not on the date that we had chose. There's still a lot of consideration to think about.. families, budgets and most of all, preparations. I made a final decision to make our 'big day' happen during school holidays this coming November. While huby, on the other hand still wants it to happen on the date that we had planned.. and the dates that i have proposed to him (for the 3rd time) is still under consideration and he still needs to think about it.

Aduiii... it's not easy to get married. Very easy to plan, but do it is very much difficult. Susah ba pula mau kawin ni.. But whatever obstacles that we're facing right now, we believe, it's one of the test that we need to go through together. A test that really wants to test both of our patience and understanding. Thank God that so far we still can manage to handle the hard situations.

Whatever it is, I just hope that everything will be fine in the end..

I’m Proud Too!

2010-05-23T21:33:00.003+08:00

I read the Daily Express today and there was an article that really attracts me with its own statement.

“I am proud to be a Dusun: Kisil”

And the article goes like this:

“I AM a Dusun. I am proud to call myself a Dusun and I want others to be proud that they are Dusuns” Kissil asserted. (For your information, Mdm. Tina Kissil was a former Daily Express guest columnist – turned author)
Many people think I should call myself a Kadazan. Why? They say that being a Dusun is low-class and uncultured. I have no quarrel with the Kadazans but I just don’t agree with this view. “Why must people say that Dusuns are uncultured or lower in status than the Kadazans?”
“In the newspaper, we read that a prominent local politician did not want the Dusun! He wanted us to be known as Kadazans instead. “The ‘original’ Kadazans were the locals in the Penampang and Papar areas.
“We were proud to be called Dusuns although some people said we were backward and uncultured. The people in my kampong could not understand why, all of a sudden, the Dusuns were to be grouped together with the Kadazans,” she wrote.

I’m not racism. And I too don’t have any issues with the Kadazans. I’m just agreeing with the article above. What’s wrong being a Dusun? Why some people aren’t proud to be one? I don’t understand why some people don’t want to be called a Dusun. We Dusun people are not backwards and uncultured anymore. Nowadays, we can see a lot of Dusun people with good achievements and works in a professional line.

That is why people who thinks Dusun is still uncultured, low-status and backwards need to change their mind set. Common, we’re in the modern era. How could you people still think like the ‘donkey years?’ I’m not saying these to the Kadazans, but to anyone doesn’t matter what race they are, even to the Dusuns who are ashamed of their roots.. think back, you’ll thank your ancestors sooner or later for being a Dusun! Be proud of who you are~

Pre-Wedding Course Part 2

2010-05-21T00:02:00.003+08:00

it's been a while after the pre-wedding course session ended. one thing for sure, huby and i really regret for not coming early on the 2nd day, cos that's when the photo shoot started. too bad, we were the only couple who's not in the picture.. boohoo~~

during the 2 days course, i can say i learned a lot from it. and it makes me realize the mistakes i've done. a lot. quite a lot. we look at each other and smiled. all this while we keep on repeating the same mistake over and over again without realizing that if this became a habit, it can cause one marriage to stumble and fall.. shhh~~ palis 2x jauh 2x.. i don't want it to happen to us.

i know i'm a very detail person. and because of it, sometimes i do ask questions a lot. when i'm not satisfied, i'll keep on repeating it over and over again till the extend where hubby gets exhausted and finally say vice versa. when its something i don' want to hear then i'll get mad, but he say the truth, i still couldn't believe him. there~~ how can we satisfy a women?

hubby said i'm too 'creative' for being able to think such possibilities. for me, i assume it as a 'backup', but for him it's not right. i don't know, sometimes i just want to hear something nice to make me happy, and the victim.. my own hubby. during the course, it did mentioned that communication is very important. i totally agree with it. our communications could be very relaxing at one time. and when my mood changes, it became a sour.. i need to improve myself. i do get angry or upset easily even at small things. but the course really made me realize that we should respect each other. financial and emotions too need to be balanced at once.

i'm glad that we finally had reached to this stage. and i hope that during our 'engagement', nothing bad will happen between us. can' wait for our Big Day to come, i'm really looking forward to it. i want to have my own family. i don't care about others and i don't care what others want to say. i'm almost reaching the age of 30's, and i want to complete my life by having someone to care and support me and most important thing is to have my own child. i'm aiming this by the time i reach 30. dear God, please listen to my prayers..

i completely tried to avoid from making myself angry. i know hubby was being very patient. i really appreciate that but i don't know how to express my grateful to him. how i wish i can make him smile like he do to me everyday. to feel his fingers running through my hair while singing my favourite songs. when he tried his best to make me feel comfortable, that is when i feel guilty the most because i can't do like he do to me.. all i can give is my pure heart and loyalty..

here's the 10 rules for happy marriage. i hope this will be a guideline to all who wishes to get marry soon.. like me :P~

1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.
4. If you must criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once every day say a kind or complimentary word to your life partner.
9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
10. Remember it takes two to make a quarrel.

The Ten Rules for a Happy Marriage from a couple who reached their 50th anniversary and successfully made their marriage a promise for life.

May God bless our relationship always and forever. Amen~

Pre-Wedding Course Part 1

2010-05-14T08:01:00.009+08:00

attended the english course at ipgm keningau campus. our pre-wedding course starts at 4pm. huby is getting ready to work at smk tenom. while waiting for his friend from kk, he went to fix his car alarm. im feeling sleepy right now. the lecture was conducted by our 'JU' as the lecturer was out. dang! sleepy + tired + bored.. how can i entertain myslelf? one of my group member offered me some interesting movies. walaa~ macam durian runtuh dapat free movie hehe.. busy transferring movies from her external to my laptop.. my coursemates made a suprise for all of us, they bought 2 cakes for teachers day.. everyone seems excited. mimang untung ba pigi kursus, makan saja karaja~ hehe..

daddy picked me up around 12 noon, his 1st time driving my baby molly that far. hmm~ not that bad. reached home around 1330, waited for huby to finish his work and going for the pre-wedding course registration. had a quick nap for a while..

1525 hours

get ready to church. huby is on his way back now. waited for him at the church, dady sent me there. when huby arrived, went to register. we thought we were the late ones but we found out we were quite early.. huh~ if only we knew it actually starts at 1800 hours.. went back home to get the bible.. then went out back for dinner.. at 1750 we arrived and the course begins..

it started with a (what i call) quick-mass, then proceed to the bible reading before the 'talk' continues. we happen to sit right behind, so we were the 'lucky ones' selected to bring the candles and the pots of flowers. another couple held the candle while huby and i held the pots. my hands were shaking (not nervous but from the mr.d effect)..

the idea of going for a pre-wedding course is actually good. we get to know our partner more.. i mean, how to handle a relationship and to be completely ready for marriage life. i admit, having a relationship is not easy. its very hard for me to maintain the feelings. i love my partner. and my love for him never fades even when he makes me angry or disappoints me. i know everyone has their own weakness. i myself acting very selfish this past few weeks had caused our very own relationship into troubles. each time i look at him, he seems tired trying to take good care of me, but at the same time trying his best to fulfill whatever i want. how i wish i can make him happy all the time, not making him worried day by day by this 'act of fury'. the lesson we learned today was very useful. how to control my jealous, and the limit to be jealous as a fiance, a wife and a mother to our kids in future. my love grew stronger.

i remembered when i first met him, after 10 years not seeing each other. previously we did spoke on the phone, comforting me and consoling while trying to heal the pain i was in before. i was hurt and feeling sickly almost gone mad, he was there to comfort me. sounds cliche? it might be.. past is past, im looking for whats the best for both of us. the bible says that it was faith that brought us together, and both of us agree with it. we believe that we were meant to be together. i hope so. and i do believe God is always there to bless our relationship. AMEN.

Womens Best friend vs Enemy

2010-05-14T07:50:00.003+08:00

d*r*m*n*

can't describe the words in detail. women's best friend and sometimes the worse enemy. addicted but sometimes avoided.

in my case, emotionally abused. uncontrollable emotion and became super sensitive. micro. even the smallest mistake can become the biggest issue ever.

trying to satisfy both party, but both of it suffered from the consequences. and the result, unbalanced. almost achieving the expected but ruining bit by bit the most protected.

creativity + talkative + hyperactive in the negative way.

turned out to be the most fierce person. try me, you'll die hearing me talking non stop when angry.

ahh~~ what else could be done to satisfy both needs??

im too fragile to be handled. once broken, considered broken forever, hard to be fixed. don't try to break it up again, cos i can't guarantee you that it can be attached back again.

it would never be the same.

im sorry to the person i love most. suffering from the side effects. suffering from the mistakes created. and yet still patient enough to handle the fragile one. no matter how hard it is, please try your best baby. i always appreciate you no matter what happen. thank you for everything. sincere deep down from the bottom of my broken heart. and that broken one is for you to make sure it wont be broken again..

When The 'volcano' Explodes

2010-05-13T08:29:00.005+08:00

12th May 2010

My Myvi EZi Solid white will be out in few hours.. My first car purchased by me, with huby's help. Not to say excited, i don't know how should i feel and react that day.

The process of purchasing this car was very difficult and complicated. I feel relieved after getting it. There are some minor issues but i'm already too tired to handle it anymore. I'll tell the whole story in detail.. and i hope this will be a lesson for me and others too. I'm giving my baby car a name. And it's officialy named 'molly' after thinking very hard(?!)

the story goes like this.. this salesperson whom i dealing with was my cousin's wife. so, to give face and respect to him, i bought it from her. and so the 'hell' process begins. she keeps on bugging my brother to ask me to pay for the booking fee a.s.a.p, and demand for the early deposit as well. my bro paid for the booking fee only, and gave back the balance to me. after signing the agreement then only i'll pay full.

i took a last minute day off for me to sign the agreement, after she informed my brother on monday night (only after my brother called!).. on that day itself, we waited for her call and she last minute inform me that the agreement haven't reach the cimb branch in keningau. a bit angry, i still can manage my temper. so since i haven't sign anything, i asked her to change the car since the one she gave me was not the one i asked for (miscommunication since she never do any follow ups with me!).. then she agreed. then the following week, she called me and asked me to come the next day to sign the agreement, but i gave excuses that im busy with school activities. at first she keep on pushing me to sign it by friday (the last day of month april) but i refused, so we made a deal on monday.

so, on monday after school hours, huby came to fetch me and we went to the bank together. the person-in-charge told me that the documents just arrived on that morning. i was like (WTF?!!) why the hell did she keep on asking me to come that friday when the documents haven't arrived yet? but we still manage to cool down..

then, this is what happened. when chasing for the money (balance of deposit), she keep on looking for my huby. we asked her to arrange the plat number that we want and she said everything is settled. okay, and so we (stoopidly) believed her. after waiting for few days, she didn't even give us a call or any updates (as usual), so my huby called her again and asked about the car. she then told him that the plat number that we want was taken. huby called his mum and dad and informed them about it. they straight away went to the JPJ to check about the number. to my suprise, she told us that we have to pay RM310 for it, when uncle asked the person he said only RM210. to make it worse, she dragged my brothers name along and said if that case she wont be able to pay my brother a commisssion. aunty said nevermind no need to pay and i'll talk to him. that F*CKING BIATCH!! she's trying to mess with the wrong person. she was scolded at the office. serves her right.

then on that day (12th may), huby messaged her again and asked when can we take the car, then she said today. okay. huby came to the perodua sales and took the car to fetch me from campus because i still need to go back there to sign the warranty. when i arrived, there is no explaination about the car, she only asked me to sign and go. but i keep on asking about the date of monthly payment. then she started to make faces. i became so angry that i burst out silently and told them that that bitch never do any follow ups with her customer but instead i have to look for her all the time. and to make things getting worse, she made another ugly face. comparing to a sick dog and a faggot, she's worse then both! she even told my brother that i'm an egoist. WTF!!

her attitude is seriously killing me. i hope this story will be something useful whenever you want to buy a car at perodua keningau branch. beware of a bitch named starting from 'N' with her initial 'NJK'. whatever happens to me or my molly, i believe that God is fair.

the moral of the story, family is family, business is business..

13th May 2010

my second day attending english course phase 2. daddy sent me early just now, afraid to be stucked at the jam since today is thursday and it's 'tamu' day.. went breakfast with daddy while waiting for the clock to strick 0730. then.. two of the salesperson came for breakfast same place with me. i totally ignored them as they never exist in my life. daddy said the girl keep on looking at me, since i was sitting facing behind them. but i don't blame both of them, because it's not their fault and they never do any wrong to me. it's just that when one person pissed me off, it's like making me sick looking at the 'whole family'. blame me for being unrational. yes i admit. blame that bitch for asking for that trouble.

enough of this story. because of this, it has caused me so much trouble. especially with my huby where we keep on fighting even at the small issue. and i put the blame everything on that bitch. if only i can lay my hands on her, i'll give her the most powerfull bitch slap until im totally satisfied. to be honest, my heart is still pounding very fast, my anger is still there. my hands are still shaking everytime i remember her cynical face expression when the time i get mad at the perodua office. let me express myself here. let me pour out my anger here. she really deserved to be scolded. and im very satisfied when aunty went to the office and gave her a good lesson. and i really wish she will get her 'pay' from God. im not asking bad things happen to her, i just want her to realize about her mistakes and regret for the rest of her life for treating such person like that. as a human, a women, a salesperson, a wife and as a mother to her daughter.. if only she knew her responsibilities.. she'll understand what life really is.

p/s: if you want me to be nice, be nice to me.. if this post hurts your feelings while reading, i dont think i should apologise. i think you should understand the whole situation.

here's a message to that 'bitch'..

U'RE THE WORSE BITCH I EVER KNOW!!!

Moody Mood

2010-05-11T14:59:00.006+08:00

this past few days, my mood was not very good. each time when i'm reaching the happy moments, the 'something bad' will happen and it spoils everything.

i know i'm a short tempered person. and i know it's something not good. but i also do know that i'm trying my best to control it. but as it had happened, and it keep on repeating over and over again, i really hate to mention it but if i don't spill it out, where else could i do it??

there are something i really don't like. and i've told many times that it really hurts me deep inside. but i guess they want me to more be understanding from time to time. okay~~ so, when is the time that they can understand me?? when i keep on holding back my anger, it will burst out and the effects will be on everyone. they don't like it but why they keep on doing it??

and again.. here i am complaining about life. i don't want to be the person who pretends that his/her life is so great. hypocrite? well, i don't know.. as long as my complains is not giving troubles to anyone then it's not your problem for me to write whatever i want, unless you think it's related to you.

sometimes i just feel like giving up, not able to fight for it anymore. it's a real burden for me to hold it all the time. maybe i'm being too emotional. yess, i admit that i'm a very sensitive person. you people should know from the very 1st day we met. cos i speak what i want to speak and do what i want to do.

sometimes people do things without considering others feeling. what, do you expect me to read your mind??? SORRY, I'M NO MIND READER! before doing something, please consider your surroundings before giving trouble to them. i really don't want to get involved in it.

i'm posting this because i'm not in a good mood right now. i'm letting everything go to ease my burden. well, at least it helps a bit. i know maybe for others i sound rude.. this is me. if you be nice to me then i'll be more glad to repay your good deeds. but if you really annoy me.. then you're pouring gas on a fire!

after this i hope my burden will go away. cos i don't want to think about it anymore.

guess life isn't that sweet at all

Woot~ Woot~~

2010-05-10T18:54:00.005+08:00

heya, after few months being 'invisible' on the net, guess its payback time!

can't do any updates right now. will 'payback' when the ideas comes non-stop and over-flowing from my head. soon. can't promise when but will be updating before school semester break starts :D

too busy checkin out something. too busy with 'my own world' hehe..

love and peace ya'll. muaahhhxxx!

Cracked

2010-03-20T13:21:00.003+08:00

i never knew about it until i found it out myself. discovering bit by bit, no changes at all. guess its nature. but, its really eating me up from inside. i dont know if i think too much, or the way i think is too extreme and beyond the limit. i keep on telling myself, let lose. im too tighten up by 'my' surroundings. one thing for sure, im being over-protective. is it wrong to act that way?

why cant people understand it? why must we please people when they asked us not to, but they cant do us the same favour in return? they said its not serious, but it will happen when u keep on doing the same thing. people do have feelings, and it will bond even close when u keep on teasing it. do not play with peoples feelings, or you'll end up hurting yourself. fcuk! i feel like killing someone now. my heads almost cracking up.

oh please~ do me a favour. think about the future what lies ahead, not thinking what to do next to please you and in the end hurting everyones feelings!

Final Countdown

2010-03-19T21:25:00.003+08:00

its almost end of march. almost the time that we all new-comers are waiting for.. ever since all of us was posted to our respective school.. messages are always like:

" sigh, im broke.. "
" bila la mo gaji ni.. kering suda "
" mau shopping pun nda larat suda "
" tunggu gaji dulu la baru beli "

... bla bla bla, and all kinds of pathetic excuses (including me!)

thats what we call life as a government servant. but its okay, all i know we cant wait for next week!!

yuhuuuuuuuu~~~ KK, here i come!!

Goodbye Atuk~

2010-03-17T15:07:00.003+08:00

13th March 2010 (Saturday)

During this 1 week holiday, hubby and i planned to go to KK last saturday to checkout the bridal shop packages for our pre-wedding photoshoot. While waiting for hubby to pick me up, mum received a phone call from my young uncle.

Mum: I'm going back to KB now. Ur abang Adi called and informed nenek janggut is very sick.

*nenek janggut is my grandma's younger brother who converted to Muslim

So i called hubby to inform him that we have to pay a visit to nenek janggut.. from KK straight direct to KB. He said "OK"..

On our way back, sent hubby's mum and dad at Penampang because they'll be back to Keningau on the same day to accompany Irene driving back home. While me and hubby were rushing back to KB and to pick Maureen at Inanam. We arrived at KB around 7pm.
Get ready and went down to visit nenek janggut. Seriously, he's in the condition where he cant speak and breath. I think his time is almost there, he looks very pain and unbearable.. Around midnight, we went back home to sleep. While hubby and the boys stayed back for drinking session..

14th March 2010 (Sunday)

Early morning around 5am, aunt nining received a phone call from my aunt Disah. Nenek Janggut passed away peacefully around 4am. No one noticed because everyone was asleep. For the 1st time i saw grandma crying. She was really sad for the lost of her brother. Im sad too and relieved (not happy cos he's dead, but glad that finally its over and he dont have to suffer from his sickness anymore). We quickly get ready to go my uncle's house and were among the 1st person to be there. Sadly, we payed our last respect to nenek janggut, he was 'sleeping' peacefully, no more pain. By 7am, few of our cousins came when they heard about the news. Around noon, nenek janggut was burried next to my great-grandma and great-grandpa. Everyone payed our last respect before he was burried and the Muslim people do their prayers for the very last time.. May his soul rest in peace~

Went back to KK in the evening cos hubby have to work on Monday and sis Maureen have to finish her thesis cos its due by this week..

Some other time we'll do our bridal survey.. Still have time before May.

Holiday..

2010-03-13T00:07:00.004+08:00

escaped work today. supposed to be the person-in-charge for msssm board mark.

who the hell really cares about that? the whole week i was alone taking care of it, except for a day when siti came to accompany me. there was supposed to be a rotation about who should come to take care of it, but u know, when u're new and quite dumb to say 'no' to them.. thats when u suffer because of your own stooopidity.

nevermind about that, 1 week holiday will be next week. will be going down to kk with hubby tomorrow. have to survey for bridal shop.. early phase of our preparation. but the bad thing is have to be back to tenom this wednesday cos have to teach my year 6 students for additional english class. and also the worse thing is hubby will not be back with me cos he have to work outstation for the whole week! dang!

im actually sleepy. but waiting for my songs to finish download. and waiting for hubby outside hanging out with the rest of the family enjoying their tapai session since last nite.

oh. speaking about stupidity. i did mention about me acting stoopid recently. and yes, i keep on thinking about it over and over again. its trying to change me slowly. im trying to change slowly too.. i made a huge mistake towards myself. my self-destruction! oh gawd! what am i doing with my life??

hubby said "we need to go to church." and i agree with him.

My Bad!

2010-03-11T22:52:00.004+08:00

recently, i discovered something i didn't like about myself. it's something can be controlled, but its all from me.. whether i can handle it or not.

i was being damn selfish and inconsiderate. i know i'm acting weirdly. sometimes being too pushy. but i dont know why i cant stop myself from doing it. the shadow of the past keeps on haunting me and its very hard for me to let go. i keep on reminding myself and reminding him not to think of the past. but seems like im the one who cannot let it go.

and now it already happen, and regrets cannot take it back. im so ashamed of myself for acting like a 15 year old girl.

i need strength to believe. i need support to make me believe. i wanted to trust him so much. avoiding all those negative thinking. why must i be soo selfish? why must i have these arguments all the time?

sometimes i was wondering, whether he'll get bored of me one day and leave me just like 'he' did. but i do blame myself for being like this. i seriously need to change. to be more understanding, more 'rational(?)', more loving, have faith and trust in him.. most of all, i need his support to make me believe. his patience to love me.

am i over-reacting? am i being too protective?

When February Ends

2010-02-26T16:22:00.005+08:00

february will end in 2 days time. a lot of things already happen this month. love + hate + arguments + work + all sorts of feelings it all came at once. there are times when i feel like soo in love, and there are times when i feel so lonely. missing hubby everyday is the worse pain i ever felt. i know i sound so pathetic in love, but the facts and reality and the truth is i do love him as much as i love my loved ones. everyone i care. and i give additional love more to him then to others :)

i was having a good time with my hubby whenever he's around me. but when he's far away from me, there's always the 'small arguments' happen. i keep on asking myself why should i have this kind of feeling? supposed the feeling of 'missing each other' should be there. or maybe i'm the one having problems handling myself from feeling jealous?? i can't deny that. my jealousy sometimes is seriously killing me all the time. i need more trust in him. and i should let go of my past completely.

honestly, i just need his attention. as long as he remembers me then im fine with it. maybe im used to be pampered previously. morning, afternoon and nite.. ahh~~ what am i thinkinh now? we're planning our 'very-important-day' now.. and looking forward to it. hoping it could be done soon as possible. so that all that crosses my mind will erase everything.

i believe life has its own ups and downs. same goes to my love life and same goes to my working life too. i begin to know each of my colleague's character well enough. but who am i to judge them? im not perfect enough too. day by day, it all seems to be clear. each person has their own personality. i found out some of them are wearing 'mask' to cover the real them. hmmm~~ have to be careful with that kind of person.

have to stop now. will update more when i have the time. can't wait to meet hubby tonight :D

Why?

2010-02-16T12:19:00.005+08:00

wondering why is it happening to me.

bored and fed up. confused.

i don't know..

guess silence is the best way to cure everything.
arguments is just a waste of time.

Happy Valentines and Gong Xi Fa Cai

2010-02-14T09:58:00.003+08:00

14th february.. the day when the cupid start to work their magic wonder for those who are celebrating valentines. this year, chinese new year also happens to fall on the same day. as for me, celebrating valentines with my baby bruno as hubby is far away. sigh~ in few hours will be going back to kota belud with mum.

no calls and messages from hubby yet.. nvm, i'll just have to wait now. i'm getting to know his characters.. from good to bad, i still accept him for who he is. that is part of life, cos no one's perfect. and im far from perfection too.

have to get ready now. mum's waiting for me.

oh.. by the way..

happy valentines day and gong xi fa cai to you!

My New Baby

2010-02-13T19:39:00.005+08:00

last wednesday, hubby and i took a male puppy from my PK 1. he (replaced 'it' to 'he' cos he's my baby after all.. ngeheh~) was sooo adorable. hubby came to pick me up from school and we brought him back to my place. on our way back, he was so quiet inside the box. didn't make a sound at all. i was a bit worried, luckily he was just fine..

reaching town, we stopped by at the chicken rice shop for a take-away lunch. hubby decided to buy his bathing stuff while waiting for me to finish up my assignments.

late evening, we went out to buy his milk, foods and towels.. he's kinda fussy, needs attention all the time and always wants someone to be by his side. after all, he's still a baby boy (?) sure it'll be ok after few months =)

baby Bruno and I.. isn't he adorable =)

Hanging Lose

2010-02-11T19:07:00.005+08:00

it's been 28 years and 10 days i officially turned 28 this year. it was a sad moment for me as i didn't celebrate the occasion with him. i understand, he was away from me on job purpose. but what i can't understand is his attention and affection towards me. is it just for the sake of being with me, just love or is there something else i can't discover? i tried hard not to think too much about it. maybe for some, it's not a big deal. but for me, it is seriously a big deal. my relationship is my top priority besides family and friends.. additional to it, it was like an ordinary day for him where i was hoping it to be special. sigh~~ i just don't understand..

CNY is just around the corner. he'll be leaving again on that day.. and to make things worse (for me), it falls on Valentines Day. our 1st V-Day will not be spent together.. and what's next? 1st anniversary? just couldn't bear being far away from him. it's like a bad trauma for me being far far away from my hubby. i don't want repetition to happen again. it really hurts me. and it's still haunting me.

guess i'll just end up staying at home during this holiday. rather than seeing others happy with their loved ones.. cos i'll feel jealous badly. ngaaa~~ im happy seeing others happy, but im afraid i'll break down and cry cos i'll be missing him badly. call me hopeless romantic, i am one of them. pathetic in love. emotionaly in love.

im trying to understand him day by day. sometimes he's so unpredictable to be understood. just like me i guess. i don't know what i want from him. i think he's given everything he have (or certain things not to be shared?) i think i've been pushing him to the max. i think i need a good treatment for this traumaphobia. i need something that can help me to relax and stop thinking too much.

to summarize the whole story, i'm just upset over small things. which leads me to another and another phase that creates a chain of story. my sensitivity is killing me. my feelings need to be poured out. there are certain things i can't share with him, cos he will never understand. i hope one day, he'll realize that i can be very fragile at certain things. i don't want to say much, i don't want to argue over small things. i do really love him for who he is. as i know i'm not that perferct enough for him. but i'm trying my best to be his best soulmate he ever had!

guess life is so unpredictable which makes it exciting to experience it!!

You're The Inspiration

2010-01-31T02:36:00.004+08:00

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I want you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul, Baby

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
Now I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
Always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul

Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than i need you
You're the meaning in my life

You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
When you love somebody 'til the end of time
When you love somebody
always on my mind
No one needs you more than I.
When you love somebody 'til the end of time
When you love somebody
always on my mind
I need you...

p/s: whatever happens today, tomorrow and in future..
my undying love for you is infinity, eternity and timeless.

~ love u baby ~

New Life, New Working Environment

2010-01-21T20:58:00.003+08:00

it's been a while i've been away from blogging. so many stories to tell, too many updates to be updated, but i can't decide what and which story should come first.

posting.. i was posted at Tenom district together with Evelyn and Adrina. they sent me to a school where it needs serious help in English subject. i know i'm not good enough as i still need more experience in teaching. but i know i'm trying my best and whatever i can to contribute my knowledge to my soon-to-be 2nd home.

SK Masanoi.. 23km away from Tenom town. a place where i'm teaching now. i slowly begin to fall in love with that school. far away from town. i feel peace. the environment is totally different from what i used to live. no hassle. it's my 3rd week now. tomorrow is friday. and next week will be my 4th week.

they appoint me to become the class teacher for year 5. they were excited. and giving their fully cooperation. i know it's not easy to handle a class with 30 students, and majority are boys. but to my suprise, they were obedient when their class teacher gave orders *winks*

besides being a class teacher, i was also appointed as the PANITIA leader for English subject. hmm.. honestly, i have no idea what to do. plus headcounts that makes me crazy. but i'm thankful that all the teachers are very helpful. that's what i like when working in a small organizations, i mean in a school that only have 14 teachers.. not much hassle eh~

will update more. need to prepare my RPH for tomorrow.

The Year of Happiness

2010-01-03T16:52:00.007+08:00

2010..

there are few priorities that should be accomplished this year. we're planning on our wedding day. but can' tell when =) we're still deciding on the best date.

i hope those bitter memories will be erased and vanish instantly from my memories. i don't need all that. i admit, i'm still on medication.. still in the process of healing. i'm really thankful that my other half is patient in helping me. i don't know if he's sincere, but i know God will bless our journey. and i do believe that my other half do love me so much, as much as i love him.. and trying to love him more. deep down in my heart, i feel truly blessed having him as my life partner.

my only wish for this year:
good health for my family and my soon-to-be family members, peace, happiness, prosperity. and most important thing is, a blessed and loving relationship with my baby.

my happiness i've been waiting for.

i just hope this love that we bound together is infinity and eternity. nothing but death can part us two. amen~

My December Part 2

2009-12-14T19:09:00.004+08:00

preparations were done earlier on. but one thing that we didn't manage to do is planning. maybe we were too excited over it. i can't wait. he can't wait too.

another 13 days to go. after that, our life will change. commitments and responsibilities will slowly come. we need each other to become stronger. i need more faith in him. i need more trust in him. sooner or later i'll belong to him.

i still remembered he once told me.. "it doesn't mean after years of relationship with the person we love will bring happiness. sometimes few months of knowing each other is worth it to live together. as long as love and trust is there".. i'm giving in hope in him. hoping he can change my life to become better.

seriously, can't wait for the changes. can't wait to be officially belong to someone.

baby, i heart you. infinity... =)

s.i.g.h ~~

2009-12-11T08:22:00.005+08:00

do i have to please everyone when everything i do trying to please them as much as i wanted to be treated the same way was not appreciated?

*confused* pfffft!!

why cant they just understand? it's just easy as putting themselves in my shoe. just think of the situation and sure they'll understand.

... but i guess they're not trying.. cos they're too naive to understand about it.

sigh~

why in the world must be so complicated about life? dear God, i'm not complaining.. i'm just hoping You are listening to my problems..

my december part 1

2009-12-08T00:53:00.010+08:00

many things happened this year, the happines, the sadness and all sort types of emotions i've been through. time past by so fast and it's already december, end of the year.. i still remember the month of january '09, i was still looking for an answer to something uncertain.. everything related about my life. working my ass hard enough, struggling to keep everything safe with me. hoping happines will finaly come after years of silence from my other world. maybe God wanted to show what real life is to me, testing my patience and faith in Him. i admit, i wasn't strong enough to face the reality. i need a good pillar to support me. how i wish i can be like those strong and tough women out there. i'm emotionaly touched to whatever that happens to me. the good, the bad, everything can melt me. i'm fragile, very fragile indeed. but thank God that He finally showed me that every problems can be solved slowly. and i believe He's watching me when i break down and cry, complaining about life, about why did it happened to me? He listens to every prayers i made eventhough i'm not a religious person. i still believe that God really exists.

.... december. something important will happen on this month that will decide my future. one step closer to another new phase of life. am i for real? am i seriously ready for it? i keep on asking myself. what if i cannot adapt myself to this 'new life'? will he guide and help me to be stronger? will he accept me for who i am? most important things is, will he still love me after 20, 50 years time? will the love be still the same when we're 90 years old? is the passion still there? will he love me when i gained weight? ... everything that crosses my mind. some says that in this 'new life', we're pretty much tied up. i don't know about that, cos i was used to it already. being loyal to the person who i once loved so much, and finaly, my sacrifices and loyalty was NOT appreciated. he doesn't deserve my loyalty and faithfulness. i hope this time, everything i sacrifice for him will be appreciated. and all i ask for him is love. i need more love to make my love stronger each day.

house cleaning starts now. busy preparing for my big day. dady and i was the most busiest person. went shopping with baby last week... funny, planning wasn't done properly and we were a bit lost. luckily we managed to sort things out. both of us were excited. very excited =)

cant wait for the day to come. im seriously nervous + happy at the same time.

to be continued...

its O.V.E.R~

2009-12-04T11:01:00.008+08:00

i finally found a time where i can blog. i was busy, with full schedule on the list. and now i'm totally FREE!! KISSM induction and exam. finally, its OVER~

erm.. i dont have any ideas right now. i'm still busy preparing for my BIG event. will let u guys know soon.

our last gathering together at permata club, keningau.. 3 person missing.. zura, aleng and ozlyn. but its ok, will definitely meet them again.. treasured all the memories together. ups and downs together. as a team. we still managed to be 'one'. luv u guys!

will blog again when i have nothing to do =)

adios... chiao~

its finally official 'halfway' over

2009-11-06T22:50:00.006+08:00

day by day had passed by. final exam is already over. last paper was yesterday. can't believe that we're almost there.. i mean, in 2 months time we'll be teaching at 'wherever we might be' and soon-to-be teacher. how fast time flies. i remembered when i entered the campus, it was only february. and now its already november, had completed our practical which was really tiring and torturing our mind, and the recent one was our final exam paper. phew~

this coming monday will be our interview. i dont know if i can make it or not cos i honestly i really suck during interview.. fcuk! whatever~ i'll just mumble what i know and whatever that comes to my mind. i just wish it'll end faster.

why the hell am i always complaining? oh.. i just dont know.. cant figure it out right now heheh..

the 'study week'

2009-10-29T08:47:00.009+08:00

this is how it looks like on our 'study week'. im in the library right now, supposed doing revisions together with Maz. tighten up by all the subjects, have to release some of it or else we all goin' crazy.

what are the KPLI-PI's doing at this moment?

Maz and Ariffin are reading the paper, Ivy and Nerty is chit-chatting outside the library, Evelyn and Ad are playing carrom, Aleng and Ozlyn are missing and cant be found, Zura and Ayu are at the cafe, Mel is behind me surfing.. and me.. blogging to fill up this boring time hehe~ enjoying this moment while the wifi is still available, cos the connection sometimes sucks here.

Maz and I posing happily. mintapuji kan :P

wake me up when november ends..

2009-10-28T20:45:00.005+08:00

busy bee..

i've been busy for this past few weeks. busy with unfinished (last minute) assignments + curriculum activities plus few other activities. its supposed to be our study week this week cos exam will be next week.. sigh~~ i know eventhough im not good at doing revisions, but at least i still have the heart to study (last minute, again..)

the schedule of the year

final exam = 03-05th nov '09

induksi kissm = 06-23rd nov '09

spp interview = 09th nov '09

posting = 01st dec '09 (scary)

why i said scary? cos i wont know to which district will they send me? to which school i'll be teaching? hope it wont be far away cos i dont want to be far away from my loved ones.. but im really glad that its finally over~ and soon everything will be back to normal by december. and hope this year will bring me good luck and happines. with hopes and dreams to be fulfilled by end of this year. i want to settle down before i hit '30'.. *winks*

do i sound too much? did i expect too much? im not sure. i just feel there's something missing in my life. maybe im thinking too much. or maybe im pressured by my surroundings. i dont know..

november is coming veRy soon, and december will be knocking us in days.. i cant believe its already coming to end of the year. and so many things happen to me this year. the laugh, the cries, the sorrow, the pain, the happiness.. wish my next year will be filled with joy and prosperity hehe~ and wish my next year will be something meaningful to me =)

xoxo. love and peace ya'll!

when love and hate collides

2009-10-25T10:58:00.003+08:00

its seriously none of my business when it comes to personal issue. but sometimes it makes me sick knowing that word 'appreciate' and 'loyalty' is not in our 'life dictionary' anymore. i dont understand why we sometimes get carried away about enjoying ourself when there is someone who cherished and appreciates us was abandoned away. screw that. good people will get what they want in return. believe in karma. it will get you.

im not here to mumble. im just here to give my opinion. why in the world today is turning upside down? why does our hopes and dreams can crashed away in just few minutes? in just small matters? is that a reasonanble reason? is that reason strong enough to support your reason? think about it. there are still other ways rather than hurting someones feelings. if you dont want to be hurted like that, then dont do something that you dont want it to happen to you. have faith in urself cos we can do it, we just need someone to support us.

sigh~

guess maybe this is what we call life. everyone has their ups and downs. everyone has experienced their ups and downs. we can control whats happening. we just need the strength, courage and support to do that. if your instinct says you're doing the right thing, then go for it. like a friend of mine says "follow ur heart, cos your heart knows better"..

God will listen to us when we need him. we just have to wait. believe in Him. He knows better what to do.

"My biggest advice for anyone dealing with the heartbreak of an unwanted breakup is to look very carefully at the person who broke up with you and look very carefully at yourself. If you are radically honest, you will see a myriad of ways that you asked for the breakup to happen as well as the ways that you deserve something better in relation to an other" ~Moongirl

The Vitamin C Injection Fad

2009-10-21T20:59:00.003+08:00

this morning, i was having this conversation with my classmate evelyn about vitamin c injection. i asked her whether she knows about it or no and she said yes. infact she had tried once and it costs below RM100 that last for 2-3 months. i asked her if there were any bad side effects, and she said so far no. i'm actually thinking of wanting to try it out, but i doubt about the consequences that will happen in the future.

now im having a 'small arguement' with babe about it. it can cause kidney problems he said. and a bit of article and facts research supports his statement.

okay.. i'm wrong. sigh~

isn't there any easiest way to maintain everything in a simple way? like the statement "beauty is pain", i believe every woman agrees with it. i do agree in certain parts, but not all can bear with it.. no pain no gain eh?

superwoman vs wonderwoman

2009-10-18T21:56:00.004+08:00

superwoman by karyn white

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me

wonderwoman by mulan jameela

Aku bukan wonder woman mu
Yang bisa terus menahan
Rasa sakit kar’na mencintaimu
Hatiku ini…
Bukanlah hati
Yang tercipta dari besi dan baja
Hatiku ini bisa remuk dan hancur

both songs has its own similarity. and i loved both of it. im no superwoman nor wonderwoman. cos im just an ordinary human being with hearts and feelings that is easily hurted and can only be cured by time and 'uncoditional love'..

the love part 1

2009-10-17T10:56:00.004+08:00

the peeps who had been with me thru thick and thin.. love you all!!

siapa makan cili, dia rasa pedas

2009-10-16T08:23:00.003+08:00

i came across on my fb post that i posted few days ago this morning. someone suddenly gets mad about the post. why? how should i know. only the person can tell me why is he/she so angry about it. the only reason i posted such statement is because i feel that it is true that certain people still think not using their brain but using their 'other' head.. which part of head? i don't know.. you tell me.

i dont understand why must it be an issue when that statement was not dedicated to anyone, it's for all to think and its just my quote of the day. i feel sooo annoyed when everything i do has something to do with him/her. stupe head! please realize that it's not all about you! and has nothing to do with you! but.. you made everyone thinks that it's you, so be it.

that is why, there are sayings that "siapa makan cili, dia rasa pedas".. but i would like to add something..

"siapa makan cili, dia rasa pedas, sebab dia lupa minum air"

sekian, terima kasih.

everything happens for a reason

2009-10-14T13:02:00.004+08:00

"i've learned that sometimes you just have to say fuck it and just live"

text testing

2009-10-11T16:18:00.008+08:00

im asking babe to help me to customize my blog. im not very good in editings.. need more to say, these coding stuff. while waiting, im learning new things on my own.

now i know, its fun learning something i dont know =)

***
okay, that font was supposed to be a 3D text, but it didn't work. trying to figure why and how to that. if it still not working, then i'll need babe to rescue.. heheeh~

retard

2009-10-11T00:56:00.005+08:00

yup, this is me. looking retarded. not really sure it was a candid pic or not.. another retard pic of me below:

edrie and i. taken during year 2006 i guess. when we were one of those active midnighters food-seekers! ~ngeeehhh~ no wonder we gained weight lol!

i really missed those silly moments with my girlfriends. there are more retard pics of me and them, but guess i have to ask their permission to upload or else they'll be coming up to keningau and snipe shoot me *kidding girls*

you're the inspiration

2009-10-10T15:47:00.001+08:00

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I want you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul, Baby

(Chorus)
You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
Now I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
Always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul

(Repeat Chorus)

Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than i need you
You're the meaning in my life

You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
When you love somebody 'til the end of time
When you love somebody
always on my mind
No one needs you more than I.
When you love somebody 'til the end of time
When you love somebody
always on my mind
I need you...

living under his blurry shadow

2009-10-08T19:20:00.004+08:00

i realized after the 'break-up' incident, i've been living like a refugee. running away from someone who dont have the rights on me. who's not worth it to be with, who doesn't deserve to be with. why am i hiding away from him? i should enjoy my freedom after years of loyalty and humble. i should live my life to the fullest. i should be enjoying every moments i have, replacing the times when i was once being a so-called 'good girlfriend?'..

all his messages, calls and threats are making me sick and tired day by day. it's bothering me to the max. i keep on asking myself, why should i be nice to him when he's done a lot that makes me suffer? i know and i realized that i'm damn stupid, wanted to be nice to him, wanted to be friends with him.. and when all these efforts had cause me such serious troubles and problems. and advice from my girlfriend "block and ignore him, even if it will cause such havoc, don't give a damn about him!".. i know its true. but deep down inside me, i keep on asking myself 'why?'.. why i still want to be friends with him? why can't i just let him go? i am letting him go. i want him to be happy, just like i am now. i'm happy with my new life. surrounded with my dearest friends and family, and to start a new life with someone who appreciates me as who i am. i'm truly blessed! guess i'm just too good to be true. being nice at the wrong time and wrong place. can anyone please help me to be someone cold just for once?

... and for now, i hope everything will end soon. i've involved and dragged everyone i loved into this mess. and i don't want them to be involved in my personal problems, cos they don't deserve to be in that circle. dear God, please help me to get out from his shadow. i'm too tired now. i couldn't handle it anymore.. i couldn't bear it anymore.. for once, i just want to live happy like everyone else.. babe, thanx for saving me from the nothing i've become..

goodbye

2009-10-04T17:39:00.002+08:00

'its over'.. a phrase as simple as ABC to be understood by all. but guess certain people is just stupid enough to know the truth. or they're just being stupid not to understand it at all??

i learn something from the past. never hope to high on something we expect very much. cos in the end, when we can't achieve it.. it will cost such pain that is unbearable. everyone of course wish to be with the person we love happily ever after.. but when things didn't work out as planned, then that's the time when we act out of control.

i changed my number.. the number that i've been using since 2004. the number which has tons of memories to be remembered. moving forward now. carry on. go on. looking forward to the future and never turn back again.

just for laugh

2009-10-01T23:56:00.004+08:00

what do you think? =D

complicated

2009-09-30T16:21:00.000+08:00

why life must be so complicated?

sigh~~

wi-fying at kfc

2009-09-28T15:08:00.006+08:00

finally, back to ip. tension arised as new assignments were given. and previous ones still not done yet. to make it worse, tomorrow is the due date (we were informed 3 months earlier to finish up!) wtf?!

celebatred adrina's birthday today here at KFC. ate 1 piece of original fried chicken. and a piece of chocolate cake. and a coke. plus cheezy wedges and 1 large fries shared with other friends. honestly, im still hungry.. hehe~ now im surfing the net while looking for some information for tomorrows assignment. and the connection here is very damn slow. i shud've online at home instead. y here? i duno *blur*

babe is not around. went down to kk for work. and i guess he's busy since he's not replying my message. my friends are busy doing their assignments now here in kfc, since dont have any internet connections back at their home. im stucked here waiting for them to finish up their work. cant wait to reach home. im sleepy. im tired. i want to lay down and sleep *zzzZZZZzzzZ* you lazy pig!

obsessed

2009-09-27T21:45:00.003+08:00

i really dont know what to do. how to handle his madness. he created the trouble and now he's blaming me for it. damn you. i was trying to be nice of all this time. im being stupid for being a considerate 'ex-girlfriend'. truly stupid to know that it seriously had caused me such problem. stressed out. headaches. heartaches. his sickness and madness is killing me!! wtf!@#$%^

i dont know how is he enjoying his craziness. why cant he get over it? why cant he just leave me alone? i never knew he could be this pathetic. i never meant to make him sound like a loser.. but he asked for it. and he is a loser. for not accepting the fact that 'its over' and accept the fact that 'he started the fire'. ahh~ i dont know how to make him realize that im no longer his girl?

there's a song that really caught my attention. i should have dedicate this song to him. but i know he wont understand cos he dont even bother to listen to the lyrics.

Why you so obsessed with me (Boy I wanna know)
Lying that you’re sexing me (when everybody knows)
It’s clear that you’re upset with me
Finally found a girl that you couldn’t impress
Last man on the earth still couldn’t hit this

this is for you.. whoever you are!

cam-whore!

2009-09-26T19:05:00.004+08:00

haha.. babe gave dis application for webcam installer. i was just testing it for fun. and having fun playing with it (its saturday and im stucked at home) what do you expect? :p today was someones birthday too, but maybe its already none of my business. just hope the person is having a great day and be more matured?

being silly? enjoying my so called 'free-time' while babe is out for some occasion. chatted with caylenn and edrie today. oh not forgetting babe, early morning eh *winks*

battle of the brain

2009-09-23T10:03:00.010+08:00

its finally over. 3 months of torture has finally comes to its end. im now enjoying my holiday. free from stress. free from work. free from everything that makes my head spin like crazy. now i can sleep peacefully. no need to wake up in the middle of the night and finish up my unfinished work till morning. its been almost 2 weeks of stress-free from school, but not stress-free from others.

i suddenly missed my naughty students. my class at year 5. the most wanted faces in SK Liau. they managed to caught my attention on the 1st day i entered the class.. and the more they annoy me, the more fonder we become. sometimes i couldnt control my temper and gets annoyed at them while teaching. but when i think back, thats only part and parcel being a 'new teacher'.. i realized they just need more attention. i couldnt help myself but smile each time when we had a small fight between me and the naughty boys. i'll be missing them. and for sure they'll miss me for being so strict and annoying but fun loving teacher. hehe~ i know i'm a bit pain in the ass when i scolded them, but i know i never really mean it at the 1st place.

year 5.. the most wanted faces in SK Liau

the boys

the girls

the teacher.. muahahhaha~

memories in SK Liau

2009-09-14T19:00:00.005+08:00

13th Sept 2009
it was a shocking news from Dayah when she texted me on sunday afternoon. our beloved PK 1 of SK Liau passed away on the 13th Sept 2009, 0500 hours. he died of sudden heart attack. previously, we knew he was sick but never expect to hear such sad news. he was such a kind person, being loved by everyone in the school.. he was just like a father to all. with his fatherly attitude and there's always a smile on his face which will never be forgotten by all. his memories will neved fade. he'll always remain in SK Liau as the best teacher of all. may his soul rest in peace. amen.

14th Sept 2009
school assembly was supposed to start with a mini orchestra performance from practical teachers who were doing their SBE in SK Liau. but to respect the demise of our beloved teacher Abin, it was cancelled. i can feel the sadness in each of us as we say our own prayers for him. and its more sad to know when the year 1&2 students who still dont understand whats happening keep on asking where is their beloved teacher. its very hard to explain to them at the moment. the mood teaching today was not as usual. we can still feel his presence there, with his polite jokes and each time he passes by to go to his room, there's always a smile on his face which makes us feel warm and welcomed as a family at SK Liau. God bless him always.

birthday calculator

2009-09-12T14:57:00.006+08:00

Your date of conception was on or about 11 May 1981 which was a Monday.

You were born on a Monday under the astrological sign Aquarius.
Your Life path number is 5.

Your fortune cookie reads:
The first step to better times is to imagine them.

Life Path Compatibility:

You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 9.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 8.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 6, 11 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2445001.5.
The golden number for 1982 is 7.
The epact number for 1982 is 5.
The year 1982 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/25/1982 and ending 2/12/1983.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Dog.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Otter; your plant is Fern.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Parmuthy, the fourth month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 8 Shevat 5742.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 9 Shevat 5742.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.8.11.17 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 8 tun 11 uinal 17 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Monday, 6 Rabi'u'th-Thani 1402 (1402-4-6).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 11 April 1982.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 18 April 1982.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 24 February 1982.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 30 May 1982.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 6 June 1982.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 18 September 1982.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 8 April 1982.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 23 February 1982.

As of 9/12/2009 1:54:22 AM EDT
You are 27 years old.
You are 331 months old.
You are 1,440 weeks old.
You are 10,085 days old.
You are 242,041 hours old.
You are 14,522,514 minutes old.
You are 871,350,862 seconds old.

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.94716242661448 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your lucky day is Saturday.
Your lucky number is 4 & 8.
Your ruling planet(s) is Saturn & Uranus.
Your lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th.
Your opposition sign is Leo.
Your opposition number(s) is 1.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 142 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 28 candles.

Those 28 candles produce 28 BTUs,
or 7,056 calories of heat (that's only 7.0560 food Calories!) .
You can boil 3.20 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1982 there were approximately 3.6 million births in the US.
In 1982 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1982 in the US there were 2,495,000 marriages (10.8%) and 1,180,000 divorces (5.1%)
In 1982 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1982 the population of Australia was approximately 15,288,891.
In 1982 there were approximately 239,903 births in Australia.
In 1982 in Australia there were approximately 117,274 marriages and 44,088 divorces.
In 1982 in Australia there were approximately 114,771 deaths.

Your birth flower is IRIS

Your birthstone is Amethyst

The Mystical properties of Amethyst

Amethyst is used to increase spiritually

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Bloodstone, Onyx, Moonstone

Your birth tree is: Cypress Tree

The Faithfulness - Strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, happy content, optimistic, needs enough money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic and careless.

There are 104 days till Christmas 2009!
There are 117 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was in its first quarter.

getting high with life

2009-08-27T21:47:00.007+08:00

i need booze. i need weed. i need to get high. i need to go on a shopping spree. i need a break. sigh~

what else? trying to erase something that is not easy to be erased?

i don't need love because i already have it =)

help to me to build a new life. i need a new one. i found a good architect who will help me to build one.. i don't know if he's good but it's worth a try =)

the ideal gift for myself

2009-08-27T21:24:00.010+08:00

May May's 'Koi Fish'

the letter 'M' - wonder what it stands for? :P

latest pics from my cousin May May.. she went to Miri for tattooes!

i know.. it's not in my new year resolution. but it keeps ringing in my head for the past few years. only it was forbidden to think of it all the time. and now, im free.. free to do whatever i want. err~ not too free though, but at least i can do what i want with the supportive permission *wink-wink*

i know what i want, and i know whats right and whats wrong. it only depends on whether i should continue or not. to take care of ones feelings. that's most important for me. if u're unhappy, then i'm unhappy too :D

i don't care what people think. to hell with their perceptions. they have the right to say it. and i have the right to do it.

coming soon!

opening a new chapter

2009-08-16T19:41:00.006+08:00

after pain of journey, i finally found a road leading to happines. but it's still unclear. the sign leading the way is still blurry. during this past few months, i was in a teribble situation where it makes me feel soo weak. till then, when everything is over, i soon found myself looking back the way trying to get out from the wrong way i was into. then i found the 'junction'. i asked myself "is this the end of the road where i have to chose the right way?"

it's not the end of the story.. it's only starting to create a new chapter in my life.

I feel so alive..

2009-07-17T15:12:00.002+08:00

after all the pain i've been thru. i finally found the path where i can really appreciate life as it is. for the past few years i was living under the shadow. wanting everything to be perfect when infact im not happy. i tried to be happy once. and i was also once being happy. but guess everything didn't work as it is.

as i was lying down on my bed, with my mp3 playing its songs.. i suddenly caught a song that really interests me and makes me wonder of the lyrics. after listening to it over and over again, i felt that life is too short to mourn for the mistakes that happened. well, past is past. im happy for what i am now. and im really happy for what i've been thru. lets just say, like the sheryl crow song title "u're my favourite mistake" =)

P.O D - ALIVE

Everyday is a new day
I'm thankful for
Every breath I take
I won't take you for granted (I won't take you for granted)
So I learn from my mistakes
It's beyond my control
Sometimes it's best to let go
Whatever happens
In this lifetime
So I trust in love (so I trust in love)
You have given me
Peace of mind

Chorus:
I feel so alive
For the very first time
I can't deny you
I feel so alive
I feel so alive
For the very first time
And I think I can fly (fly)

Sunshine upon my face (sunshine upon my face)
A new song for me to sing
Tell the world
How I feel inside (Tell the world how I feel inside)
Even though it might
Cost me everything
Now that I know this
So beyond, I can't hold this
I can never
Turn my back away
Now that I've seen you (Now that I've seen you)
I can neva look away

Repeat chorus

Now that I know you
(I could never)
Turn my back away)
Now that I see you
(I could neva look away)
Now that I know you
(I could neva)
Turn my back away)
Now that I see you
(I believe no matta
What they say!)

the cries of the innocent

2009-07-03T14:25:00.006+08:00

its really suffering to hold on something that you're used to do. my heart's pounding faster like having an adrenelin rush. it does seriously hurting me inside out. its eating me inside slowly. i keep on waiting for the miracle to happen.. waiting patiently~ but guess that im not a patient type. i always want everything instantly. i know im not powerfull enough to do that. but i cant wait.. it is really killing me.

im very thankful that my very best friends are always there to support me. to make me realize that sometimes we have to wait for the best to come. who knows, after this disaster, there will be a reward for it.. im learning to face the toughest situation. im learning to love myself. im learnig to let it go. im learning to understand. im learning to wait, even though waiting for something unconfirmed. im learning to forgive and forget. but guess im not strong enough. im not strong to face the reality. reality does bites. truth hurts. it does.. seriously~

for now, im trying to stand on my own. before, i was a baby who always needs attention. but now im not anyones baby anymore. im learning to be independent.. learning to love myself like my friends used to say. im very hopeless when it comes to emotions. im the sensitive type. i can cry when im happy, i can cry when im sad. i cry when i see something that touches my heart. i cry when the person i love is in trouble. i cry when im too happy. for now, this is the my toughest journey.. i used to be on the safe lane, but not anymore. its time for me to change gear and move forward. but i need time.. i need time to heal everything. i need miracle to heal me. i need love and attention to cure my wounds. i need love.

The Loss of Our King Pop

2009-06-26T23:06:00.003+08:00

i was shocked to know when my friend Hidayah, who coincidencely tried to use her celcom broadband at school when she told us the sad news "Michael Jackson is DEAD".. we thought she was fooling us as she was saying it confidently and we thought that her broadband was not functioning at all.

eventhough im not his biggest fan, but still i feel sad for his demice. for me, he's a legend. a true superstar and a gifted person. his contributions in music industry has influenced many people. once a superstar.. always a superstar.

How to Control Jealousy

2009-06-26T22:44:00.002+08:00

Deal with your insecurity. No matter how much you project your confidence, being jealous implies that you are insecure about yourself. It means that you have fears that someone is better than you are, and it scares the hell out of you. What you need to do is to realize that every person is unique. Don’t go comparing yourself to everybody because that’s not a good way to feel good about yourself. Just focus on your own assets, and your achievements and you’re sure to get ahead of things. Be secure in the fact that you’re the hottest being on earth – proof? Your partner chose you among all the others.

Value the virtue of trust. Trusting a person could be very difficult, especially if we’ve been betrayed in the past. But get over your issues on trust because unless you do, your partner will suffer your lack of security. Let go of your fears because you can’t do anything if you worry about it anyway. It’ll just keep you paranoid. Loving someone means giving him your trust, so that he can give you his trust too.

Love and trust go hand in hand. Don’t push your boyfriend away with your jealousy. If you know in your heart that your boyfriend is truly faithful, then it is just right that you trust him not to break your heart. The two of you can always talk when something starts to bother you so that it doesn’t evolve into a jealous fit.

** im speaking on behalf of myself. and it has nothing to do with other people =) its just a friendly reminder for me..

100th Truth

2009-06-26T22:06:00.001+08:00

A friend of mine tagged me on her note. I was thinking why not i answer these questions. It's all about fun anyway.. and who knows, it might be something we can reflect on ourself :)

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage:
= nescafe

2. Last phone call:
= hubby

3. Last text message:
= ivy

4. Last song you listened to:
= vitamin c - graduation

5. Last time you cried:
= last sunday, teribble!

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice:
= more than twice and still dating!

7. Been cheated on:
= .... sumthing very hard to forget

8. Been in a relationship & regretted it:
= no. dats wat life is.

9. Lost someone special:
= relatives.

10. Been depressed:
= this past few days

11. Been drunk and threw up:
= yes.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:

12. chocolate
13. green
14. blue

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)

15. Made a new friend:
= yes.

16. Fallen out of love:
= not sure :P

17. Laughed until you cried:
= yeaaa~~

18. Met someone who changed you:
= they were my friends who were always there for me to support me.

19. Found out who your true friends were:
= definitely! i realized now for years there's always someone there for me and someone there to bring me down..

20. Found out someone was talking about you:
= i dont give a fuck abt them.

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list:
= yes? :D

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life:
= 90%.. some are my cousins whom i never met :P

23. How many kids do you want to have:
= 4 perhaps.. hehehe~

24. Do you have any pets:
= my cats and dogs

25. Do you want to change your name:
= no. why shud i?

26. What did you do for your last birthday:
= celebrate with my family members.

27. What time did you wake up today:
= 6AM

28. What were you doing at midnight last night:
= sleeping

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for:
= 23/08/09 & 29/12/09

30. Last time you saw your Mother:
= she's sitting next to me playing solitaire

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life:
= trust, happines, love and peace

32. What are you listening to right now:
= .... from the tv. duno wat movie.

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:
= think so. my cousin Tom hehe.

34. What's getting on your nerves right now:
= someones call :)

35. Most visited webpage:
= facebook, yahoo mail, blogspot.

36. Whats your real name:
= yvonne janet muin

37. Nicknames:
= colly, bon, evon, bonbon, kundi.

38. Relationship Status:
= attached!

39. Zodiac sign:
= aquarius

40. Male or female?
= female

41. Elementary:
= hometown

42. Middle School?:
= hometown

43. High school/college?
= sm stella maris

44. Hair colour:
= black

45. Long or short:
= middle

46. Height:
= i think i'm 5'5.

47. Do you have a crush on someone?
= no.. at the moment :P

48. What do you like about yourself?
= hard to mention

49. Piercings:
= ear & tounge

50. Tattoos:
= none

51. Righty or lefty:
= right

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery:
= nope

53. First piercing:
= 15 years old

54. First best friend
=maymay n fiona

55. First sport you joined:
= 4x100 during secondary school

56. First vacation
= dady went to continue his studies far2 away.. do u call dat a vacation? hehe

58. First pair of trainers:
= school days

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating:
= noe

60. Drinking:
= no

61. I'm about to:
= play poker after answering this questions

62. Listening to:
= tv

63. Waiting for:
= hubby's call

YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids?
= definitely yes

65. Get Married?
= definitely!

66. Career?
= just starting..

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes:
eyes

68. Hugs or kisses:
= hugs

69. Shorter or taller:
= taller

70. Older or Younger:
= older bf.. younger looking me :P

71. Romantic or spontaneous:
= can i choose both?

72. Nice stomach or nice arms:
= and both as well hehehehe

73. Sensitive or loud:
= sensitive

74. Hook-up or relationship:
= relationship of course

75. Trouble maker or hesitant:
= hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger:
= no

77. Drank hard liquor:
= yes

78. Lost glasses/contacts:
= my eyesights are still good

79. Sex on first date:
= big no no!

80. Broken someone's heart:
= yes.. and the person deserved it!

82. Been arrested:
= hell no

83. Turned someone down:
= yes

84. Cried when someone died:
= of course, im kinda sentimental and sesitive

85. Fallen for a friend?:
= yes. and he's now my darling

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself:
= think so

87. Miracles:
= hell yes!

88. Love at first sight:
= yes yes yes!

89. Heaven:
= yes

90. Santa Claus:
= yes.. till now..

91. Kiss on the first date:
= nooo..

92. Angels:
= yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time:
= yes

95. Did you sing today?
= yes

96. Ever cheated on somebody?:
= previously yes. now NO.

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?:
= go back when it shud be told earlier.

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?:
= christmas

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?:
= last time yes.. now im afraid to let it go

100. Posting this as 100 truth?
= yes. being honest!

stressed out

2009-06-24T21:03:00.002+08:00

too much work to be done. im trying to complete everything all at once. today, my first time attending the class im going to teach. and on the 1st day itself they managed to annoy me. dang! what a day~ now im figuring out how to catch their attention. blame me for being unpatient. yes i am. if only today was few years ago, then im allowed to smack them, make them stand outside, make them stand on their chair and table, and whatever i can do to punish. but this is the 20th century and kids are so damn smart.. IF ONLY~ sigh!

my life, my journey

2009-06-22T21:57:00.005+08:00

i was having a rough time this past few days. as times goes by, im beginning to enjoy myself in the sense of trying to be a better person. im always trying and will keep on trying. i realized, i always looked down on myself, and let all the negative vibes gets into me. till then, its already history. its now my past and letting it go makes me feel relief. im happy to know that my girlfriends are really supporting me. making me realize that we shouldnt live in denial, full of ignorance.. but to be real. be who we are, not someone who is trying to be like someone else.. not someone who's trying hard to live like someone else. but just being me.

its a bless to give and take chances from and to someone. when deep down inside we know that mistakes came from us. i admit, im being fool for not realizing the biggest mistake that happened. and i admit im being someone elses' black sheep. but we can find out then. when we know that we can be someone better, by working our ass hard enough to be in the comfort zone. its all worth it. and it'll pay the price of all our hardworks we've done.

im so thankful for experiencing all this wonderful experience. its hard to accept but we learn to let it go slowly. and this makes me more confident enough to go further.. without turning back. and i'll always look forward to the future. with hopes and dreams. and to be better then anyone who thinks they can bring me down. i was once 'nobody'.. and now.. will always be 'somebody'.. by getting a real life, live in reality and we'll know the answer.

when time can heal the pain

2009-06-21T14:58:00.003+08:00

last nite was a total disaster. i've been acting like crazy~ i almost lost my mind and crying out like hell. i over-reacted too much. i made a fool of myself. i deserve it now. but WE dont deserve it for what had happened. i shudnt act that way. i shud have listen to myself before saying and doing it. now, i deserved it for what i have done.

if only i could let it go, if only i can let time heal the pain and learn to accept things. the wounds wont heal easily, because the scars will always be there. but scars can be fade away if we keep on healing it~

im still hoping. because everyone of course wants to live hapilly ever after. im hoping that time will tell me the truth. time will decide what will happen. all i can do now is wait for the miracle to happen. whether i like it or not, we'll know when the time is ready to tell~~

life

2009-06-19T21:09:00.003+08:00

i dont really blog. cos i know im not very good at blogging. there are times when i talk to myself. there are times when we talk to ourselves =)

people do make mistakes. and every mistakes are made to be forgiven. i do mistakes, and i believe everyone does it too. i dont blame people who are imperfect, because im one of them! we never expect bad things to happen, if possible, we'll try to avoid it. we all faced the ups and downs in our life, and i salute those who survived from it. i know it's not easy.. especially when we expect things to be just fine. we never know what will happen next. the easiest way is to enjoy life as it is. i've been taking things too seriously for this past few years, and now its time for me to let it go. i never want to look back what happen previously, because it do hurts my feelings.. let's just proceed and move forward. but im very thankful cos during my sad moments, my girlfriends are willing to be there to be my shoulder to cry on. and most important thing is, to give me strength and be positive always. im trying to change, to be a better person. to always look positive what lies ahead. thats why i love them for who they are, doesnt matter whether they're right or wrong. cos nobody's perfect. im no perfect, and im no angel either. we're just equal..

life as it is, some people relates to karma. and yess, the chinese and hindus do believe in it. i believe it too.. what goes around comes around. and i've seen lot of things happen that way. and it does happen to everyone, i believe =) including me. when we tried to be nice to someone, they took you for granted. and also when someone tried to be nice to us.. we took them for granted. isn't that funny? the world is turning upside-down. and some people do live in denial. not just 'some'. i do sometimes feel that way. why shud we ignore it when the world knows it better? it's up from us to decide..

when boredorm strikes

2009-06-19T17:14:00.003+08:00

quite a boring day. i'm stucked at home doing house chores and now in front of my laptop checking on my fb. feel like calling hubby today but he was at a friends shop hanging out with his friends. im trying to control my craziness of calling every second. i dont know why shud i react that way. i just feel so insecure.. but holding on to his promises makes me believe he's keeping his promise.

okay, enuf of being in a sad mood. i 've been told that my puppy 'lomu' has a big hole at his back. we're not sure he's hit by someone or his naughty attitude makes him suffer that way. he's always a cheerful pup and very 'garang'. to our suprise, my mum and brother who's about to go off to work this morning saw that 'big hole' and feel disgusted. so me and branden (our youngest sibling) have to put him on medication.. mcm duktur haiwan la~ that big hole we stuffed in the powder used to heal the wound for animal, dady got it from the vet, incase this incident happen.. and we always knew it will happen. . i saw 'huge' worms in his wound.. and of course la i feel disgusted. i think the wounds' been there for a long time and we just didn't noticed about it and it grew bigger and bigger. pitty lomu.. sigh~ he have to suffer that kind of pain. no wonder he's not in the mood playing and not that 'greedy' like he used to when seeing foods.

here's the pic of it. do not see this pic before u have ur bfast/lunch/dinner/snacks..